Combat Zone

Student Shortage of PrintGreen Credits Encourages Superhuman Eyesight
Combat Zone / Highlights

Student Shortage of PrintGreen Credits Encourages Superhuman Eyesight

S ophomore Jack Kelly sits at a table on the first floor of Collins Memorial Library, furiously writing with a Pilot G2 in his notebook. “I’m out of PrintGreen points,” Kelly said. “Five weeks into the semester.” Kelly is on page 13 of 35, hand-copying a short story from Moodle […]

Cancer Patient Actually Has Hobbies
Combat Zone / Highlights

Cancer Patient Actually Has Hobbies

This past Sunday, local researchers at the University of Tacoma made a breakthrough discovery: breast cancer survivor, Jan Ascott, has other attributes besides surviving cancer. “Since my diagnosis in ‘02, I’ve only been labeled a ‘cancer patient’ or, since my victory over [cancer] in ‘12, ‘cancer survivor,’” Ascott said. “But […]

New App Banishes VDay from Internet
Combat Zone / Highlights

New App Banishes VDay from Internet

“Alone again on Valentine’s day lol nbd hate boiz,” reads a Facebook post on your newsfeed every year. You scroll past and see a photo of a girl and a bouquet of pink roses captioned “Love him more each day <3.” Some people love Valentine’s Day. They like the sentiment […]

Combat Zone

Admissions Requests Prospie Instagrams

Campus admissions is slotted to join forces with the school’s social media department, and not just for marketing purposes. “Every year we strive to admit the best students to our school,” an admissions official said, “but the standards for what makes a good candidate for the University have changed. You […]

Fedora Presence On Campus Steps Up
Combat Zone / Highlights

Fedora Presence On Campus Steps Up

In a bold move by the University, fedoras have now been banned indefinitely on campus. The tone of the school’s statement about this decision had even the most staunch fedora hater appalled. The school said that “finally the scourge of punks trying to wear hats to be cool would no […]

University Seeks To Recruit ‘COOL’ Kids
Combat Zone / Highlights

University Seeks To Recruit ‘COOL’ Kids

In our day and age those with a great and publicized knowledge of ‘90s and early ‘00s culture are deemed “the cool kids.” From “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” to Mary-Kate and Ashley, the more you know, the cooler you are. This year, incoming first year Jessie Williams has vowed to […]

Fog Enveloping Campus ACTUALLY SMOKE
Combat Zone / Highlights

Fog Enveloping Campus ACTUALLY SMOKE

Most residents have noticed an unusually thick fog shrouding the Puget Sound area. It was previously believed that the increase in fog in was due to warmer summers resulting in more moisture in the air during the cooler seasons. However, a recent study conducted by the University of Puget Sound […]

Combat Zone

Student catfished by ASUPS president

“Why not stop on by and pay me a visit?” wrote current ASUPS President Paige Maney in an email sent to Mitchell Leatherman on Jan. 28. This email was sent to all students currently enrolled at the University of Puget Sound. School officials reported that this message was aimed at […]

Combat Zone / Online Exclusives

It’s finals week and obligations mean nothing

Finals week is finally here! Isn’t everyone excited? I’m excited. No, not for the tests or the stress or the cramming; I’m excited because finals week means that I can abandon all of my other responsibilities, to both myself and society. Some (my housemates) would say that final exams don’t […]

Thrift shops are dangerously low on ugly sweaters
Combat Zone / Highlights

Thrift shops are dangerously low on ugly sweaters

Thrift stores surrounding Puget Sound are beginning to shut down due to an influx of sales and decrease in donations. Store owners are scrambling to keep their charitable cause alive and discover the truth behind the recent trend. “I noticed that more middle-class customers began shopping in my store around […]