Scorpio: Oct 23 - Nov 21 You are deaf to your friends’ attempts to communicate. Hint: Take off the headphones. Sagittarius: Nov 22 - Dec 21 You will either have a terrible dream or a terrible day. Regardless, getting someone to slap you only makes it worse. Capricorn: Dec 22 - Jan 19 With the rings of Saturn spinning, everyone gets better-looking when you are drunk—except for you. Aquarius: Jan 20 - Feb 18 If you keep making faces at that bitchy girl behind her back, your face will stay...
Ugly sweater party not a joke What do you think Taylor meant when he said, “Thanks for inviting me to your party, sorry I forgot to dress up”? Boys are sooo weird! Whatever - let’s get back to what we were talking about before: what did you guys get for 16 across? I got “pineapple”. Combat Zone writer graduates from West Point Amid congratulations and handshakes, the humorist claims it started out as a joke, “But there is nothing funny about war… Aw, who am I kidding, our military is...