ARIES – You’re getting a lot of flac this month for things you had nothing to do with. Your shoes getting dirt all over the carpet? Your ‘violent outburst’ disrupting class? Your foot going through that glass door? You can’t control everything, Aries. Leave “your” problems for someone else to deal with.   TAURUS – A sweet taste in your mouth in the middle of the month will trigger a memory from long ago. It all comes rushing back–the abandoned Jell-O factory, the enormous vat of bubbling… Oh god, your...

Several students have remarked on this abstract campus snow art. “I think it looks like a pinky toe!” freshman Louise Haslow said. What do you see? A.) A nose B.) A chess piece C.) A rooster D.) A unicorn horn E.) Two enormous baseballs resting at the base of the Empire State Building F.) The mouth of a wine bottle G.) The great sword excalibur H.) A vagina I.)  A flower J.) A monster truck! K.) A dolphin...

Aries – Aries, it is time to finally attend to all the things you’ve forsaken for your love of dumpster diving. This is a time of self-examination for you. Start with the scalp, checking for lice, etc. and just work your way down until you figure out what is causing this horrible itchiness. And the other thing. Taurus – This winter has been tough on you, dear Taurus, but be patient, you may soon be able to leave the house. In the middle of March, you may feel suddenly illuminated,...