Arsenic microbe prefers Cheetos, beer
When asked what he ate before Cheetos were invented, the microbe replied: “I think of the day Cheetos were invented as the day I was truly born. They are dangerously cheesy.” He sounded drunk.
Combat Zone
A little chat with Santa Claus
Combat Zone: Alright Santa, let’s cut the cute stuff and get right down to business. Is it a coincidence that your first name has all the same letters as “Satan”?
Cruel world takes anger management course
A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE: A photo taken from space shows the world appearing much more calm and relaxed than usual.
GUEST COLUMN: Mind Your Manners with Mr. Clean
It’s like Saul always tells me, “You keep this house so clean sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind, like I’m in an insane asylum.”
Ignorant freshmen to live together next year
Five freshmen, all from the Anderson/Langdon dorm, have committed to getting a...
Student chemist discovers, destroys “friend zone”
Evan Zamiri, ’12, an aspiring biochemist studying at the University of Puget...
Demeaning Quiz: Categorize your music tastes
Please thoughtfully answer the following questions, then check your score below: 1)...
From screen to page: Harry Potter book series in the works
If you haven’t been living under a rock these past nine years,...
The Puget Sound Black Market is having a Black Friday Sale!
To help prepare you for Black Friday, we sniffed out some of...
The Hey You’s: Dredging up the past
In celebration of The Trail’s 100 year anniversary we are running selections...
November Horoscopes
Scorpio: Oct 23 - Nov 21 You are deaf to your friends’ attempts to communicate. Hint: Take off the headphones. Sagittarius: Nov 22 - Dec 21 You will either have a terrible dream or a terrible day. Regardless, getting someone to slap you only makes it worse. Capricorn: Dec 22 - Jan 19 With the rings of Saturn spinning, everyone gets better-looking when you are drunk—except for you. Aquarius: Jan 20 - Feb 18 If you keep making faces at that bitchy girl behind her back, your face will stay...