Combat Zone

By Skye Sheehy   In the wake of Trump’s victory and subsequent flurry of executive orders, many marginalized communities are fearful of what the next four years will bring. In the midst of this, the sense-of-humor community is experiencing a different kind of fear. Humor is a valuable tool in coping with political horrors, but those of us who would normally crack jokes about what hypothetical atrocity Trump will sign for next are facing a unique challenge: the power of manifesting.    What would be a run-of-the-mill “wouldn’t it be crazy if...

By Molly Clement  As the 2024 Summer Olympics have come to an end, the Olympic Committee has been reviewing the idea of new sports and events to be added into the 2028 Olympic Games. One of the top contenders is allowing fraternities to compete independently from their country. This means that our very own Sigma Chi, Phi Delta Theta and Sigma Alpha Epsilon will be competing against each other in four years. With the potential of competition, our frats are evidently already hard at work training for the upcoming competition. ...

By Emmet O’Connor   The world seems to be going wonky. Whether it is abnormal weather, the decaying state or international plagues, something seems out of whack. For many university students, the upcoming end of the world does signal one thing: an end to student loans.    If the world does descend into a fiery hellscape, there will be some comfort in the fact that no one will have to fill out a FAFSA application again.. One student that was approached said “it would be nice to not have to pay...

By Molly Clement  The World Health Organization has recently released alarming reports surrounding a deadly new epidemic: bowling. Scientists around the world are calling bowling the new smoking. Here's what you need to know. Using borrowed bowling shoes is rapidly spreading foot fungus, athletes foot, trench foot, and other unimaginable skin deformities. Bowling causes sped up decay of the muscles by 30%, as well as the bones and skin by 10%. Bowling balls have begun to transmit these diseases. Putting your fingers in the same holes as others is not...