Combat Zone

Combat Zone

Life in Sexile

Dear Vonnie, I get sexiled nightly. Being a freshman, I don’t have homework or friends, so I don’t know what to do with the time. I’ve tried wandering around campus, but after completing 20 laps of campus in an hour, I got tired of it. Suggestions? From, Lost Frosh   Dear Frosh, When you’re bored, your exile seems to drag on longer than the Dalai Lama’s. The S.U.B. and the cafés are closed, you’re too self-conscious to sit alone in the Cellar for hours on end, and Tacoma is…Tacoma. It...
Combat Zone

S.U.B. food good

There’s something different about the S.U.B. this year, and it’s not just that the information booth is a big, sexy circle. “The food’s actually good,” junior Chris Baker said between mouthfuls of orange chicken. “And I’m not even that high right now. The freshmen don’t even know how good they’ve got it.” It’s true. Across campus, students are taking note: the S.U.B. has stepped up its game. The Pac-Rim station in particular has drawn attention due to the extreme nature of its transformation. Once the university’s premier source of gastrointestinal...
Combat Zone

Letter From a Concerned Parent

  Last week, Steve Greenberg, a gay Orthodox rabbi, spoke at the Swope Lecture about the personal battle between his sexuality and his faith. This upset a few parents of students. In the spirit of open debate, the Combat Zone published one of these responses to the Swope Lecture. Hello, My name is Joseph Pearlman, a native of Tacoma, and a parent of a UPS student. My oldest son, Adam Pearlman, is a junior at Puget Sound. The other week, a homosexual rabbi, Steve Greenberg, came to campus for a...
Combat Zone

Rival watch: PLU welcomes Tonald Rhombus as new president

Crosstown rivals: New PLU president Tonald Rhombus (above) eagerly jots down the beginnings of his ‘master plan’ to sabotage the University of Puget Sound. Rhombus regularly orders Psych Megawa (below), the Dean of Students, to prank-call Puget Sound and make cruel, hurtful jokes. Right before he hangs up he always yells, “psych!”.
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