Weekly Horoscopes
Libra: Sep 23 - Oct 22 Try something new in the bedroom this week. Perhaps a Johnny Depp poster. Scorpio: Oct 23 - Nov 21 Be aware of your enemies’ weaknesses. Pour milk into the vents of your ex’s lactose intolerant Honda, then watch as it plagues him with engine trouble and belches exhaust. Sagittarius: Nov 22 - Dec 21 Let go of your conscience. Remember, you’ll never be popular until you can make fun of others. Capricorn: Dec 22 - Jan 19 Your stars say that now is the...