Lawyer confuses distinction between law and justice
Tardy Marks was a promising young candidate for a partnership at Marks...
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Norwegian black metal singer joins philosophy department as professor
Famed for his work with Gorgoroth, Gaahl decided to take a break...
Plague reincarnated with 2048
A lonely janitor sweeps through Thompson Hall for the third time that...
Deluded scholar becomes Milton
Professor James W. Snipes was surprised to find a student walking into...
Snapchat unveils their nifty new function: non-deletable pictures
The mobile app Snapchat has grown greatly in popularity since its release...
NEWSFLASH: seniors whine about theses
The time has come to profile the senior theses of the Class...
Inclusive fraternity to objectify literally everyone
In an effort to promote diversity and inclusivity, local fraternity Lamda Lamda...
Student searching in vain for “organic relationship,” whatever that means
In a shocking declaration that has shaken the fragile social structure of...
‘Graduate of Color’ ceremony proves to be problematic
Neema Smith, a senior on campus, has found herself cordially invited to...
The Land Before Time XIV: Little Foot and friends found dead on Puget Sound campus
Last Saturday, in the middle of what looked to be a normal...
Proclaiming political diversity
Local photographer Henry Fairday is on a mission to find a real...
Jonah Hill wins every single Academy Award
Two-time Oscar nominee Jonah Hill won an Academy Award in every category...