Combat Zone

Snapchat unveils their nifty new function: non-deletable pictures

The mobile app Snapchat has grown greatly in popularity since its release on the Apple App store in 2011.

The app allows its users to send pictures and videos to their friends for a maximum of 10 seconds, and then deletes the message after it is sent. Since its embrace by the general public, the app has revolutionized the sharing of funny and informative pictures and videos.


This will all soon change after the recent press conference from Snapchat CEO Gnu Dipique.

In a much anticipated event in Silicon Valley, Dipique announced that Snapchat will soon be offering the “new” and “groundbreaking” service of sending pictures that do not delete.

In an excerpt from the speech, Dipique stated, “For too long Snapchat users have been plagued by the automatic delete function in our formerly groundbreaking app.”

He paused for dramatic effect, then continued, “Well now, we will soon be saying goodbye to the days where you have a super funny snap and you want to show it to your friend and they aren’t paying attention and the snap is only like five seconds long or something and by the time they look its already gone and now they don’t know what you’re laughing about.  It’s tragic. I would like to announce that Snapchat will now be offering non-deleteable picture service on all platforms. [Applause]  Yes. Groundbreaking. This is the next big thing.”

Later he added, “Also this service is retroactive.”

The news team here at the Combat Zone decided to look into that last statement, and Gnu Dipique is not bluffing.

As it turns out, every picture and video ever sent over Snapchat has been saved onto the Snapchat servers.  When emailed for comment, the Snapchat team sent us this press release.

The Snapchat team is excited to bring the new groundbreaking service of non-deleteable pictures!

We at the tech-savvy, uber-hip  newspaper, The Flail, believe this new service will bring users closer together, as everyone will be able to relive all those Snapchat memories they have shared over the years.

And so they look really cool doing it.

To aide in the reminiscing, every Snapchat account tied to a Facebook account will automatically upload all pictures past and future to the site, allowing all your friends to have a more intimate view of what you have been doing for the past two years!

Yay, technology!

May God, your friends, your parents and that one grandma that you were forced to friend have mercy on your soul.