Combat Zone

Recently, there was an article published in this paper entitled “Crows on campus causing problems for students.” Some very hurtful words were thrown at my crow brethren like “pervasive” and “infestation.” I sought out the crow leader to show them this article and the response was quite simple: “We were here first, a**holes. My family has been here for generations, and suddenly you people show up acting like you own the place. Well, guess what, you don’t own sh**. You call us a ‘flock of pests’ when it is you...

Tensions between North and South Quad appear to be at an all-time high, particularly since the failed attempt of North Quad to launch multiple Frisbees at South Quad residents on Oct. 14. Fortunately, due to the failure of the attack, South Quad has declared it will not launch a counterattack. Up until this attack, many students did not believe that North Quad even possessed Frisbees. It was suspected to be a bluff posed by the revered RA who resides in North Quad. The RA has been known to fabricate stories...

While walking by CUPS, a member of The Flail staff obtained a handful of CDs from the box outside of the station. Not surprisingly, they were all a complete waste of plastic and aluminum. A particular “album” that stood out among the filth was titled Last Picked For Kickball by a “band” who call themselves Cacophony. The band call their personalized genre “Indie/Pop/SpokenWord” which consists of heavy bass, out-of-tune vocals and a lack of any musical knowledge. The opening track “Love Me, Dad” is an ear-shattering combination of spastic cymbals,...

For those of you who like jokes about Lanyards (which are always hilarious) then you are going to love Yik Yak. Some of you may be asking “What is Yik Yak?” or “Is that some sort of type of throat cancer?” Well, Yik Yak is an app that is taking the college world by storm, even more than the actually storms that are starting to roll in. This app allows you to post a message to a message board that people in your area can see. And here’s the kicker:...

When we’re young, our parents and our teachers tell each and every one of us that we are unique individuals, like snowflakes and stars, each of us different in our own beautiful way. But some of us are more unique than others. “I’m not like other girls,” first-year student Kaitlin Johnson said. Johnson drinks full calorie Snapple rather than Diet Snapple because the chemicals in artificial sweeteners are harmful to one’s health. Johnson smokes unfiltered cigarettes, because she “has demons to kill.” Though she doesn’t think she believes in organized...

    For the 17th year in a row, the University of Puget Silence has been ranked by Forbes, US News, College Prowler and other national rankings as one of the top five greenest college campuses in the United States. The campus, at first glance, fits neatly into its position; it is home to sprawling green lawns and upward-reaching trees, with Frisbees in every student’s pack and Birkenstocks on their feet—if anything at all. However, despite the school’s best intentions, its Green Life program, meant to boost campus and local...

Back by popular demand, we at The Flail are naming the most fashion-forward student on campus. Last year’s contest was a nail-biter, but we were glad to proclaim people who wore Crocs as our winners! This year, we again went with the theme of stylish shoes, which we know will always be popular in our consistent and not-at-all fickle society. While we know that most people out there will say we exaggerated the popularity of this shoe, we are absolutely confident in saying that yes, we really did inflate its...

    Last year, the University of Puget Sound conducted a survey in which they asked students how they thought campus life could best be improved. The most common requests? Better food and better Wi-Fi connection. The campus administration heard these complaints and fervently started brainstorming solutions. It took a lot of time and a lot of money, but students finally got what they wanted: the Wheelock Student Center renovations are now complete. Two deli stations, an additional upstairs seating area and, yes, what we’ve all been asking for, begging...