Combat Zone

On October 12 the Seattle Seahawks fans were removed from play by head referee John Turfel after the Seahawks scored in the third quarter and their behavior became uncontrollable. It took two and a half hours to remove all Seahawks fans from the stadium, but the game eventually resumed. “It felt like a scrimmage, there was only a handful Cowboys fans who stuck around, and it was dead silent” starting quarterback, Russell Wilson, said, “I’ll admit it was very relaxing not being yelled at for two and a half hours...

In honor of Halloween, I sat down with That Girl from That Horror Movie on Netflix to talk about fashion, real estate and online shopping. Q: You had just moved into your house in this quiet suburban neighborhood when weird things started happening. Tell me about that. A: Well, the house was great at first. High ceilings, wet bar in the dining room, someone had died in it a couple months before— Q: Someone had died in it? A: Yeah. I don’t know. We didn’t think it was a big...

The top high-school Frisbee player has committed to the University of Puget Sound club Frisbee team. The new recruit is named Max Peanut-butter.  Peanut-butter is a purebred American Fox Hound. His father has won many North American Gun Dog competitions, while Peanut-butter’s mother won the National Dog Show presented by Purina in 2006. “The dog has literally been bred to play Frisbee,” Tanner Smith said. “Max’s parents are some of the finest dogs in North America and the world.” Smith is a dog breeder located in Manchester, Kentucky. Peanut-butter was...

Recently, there was an article published in this paper entitled “Crows on campus causing problems for students.” Some very hurtful words were thrown at my crow brethren like “pervasive” and “infestation.” I sought out the crow leader to show them this article and the response was quite simple: “We were here first, a**holes. My family has been here for generations, and suddenly you people show up acting like you own the place. Well, guess what, you don’t own sh**. You call us a ‘flock of pests’ when it is you...

Tensions between North and South Quad appear to be at an all-time high, particularly since the failed attempt of North Quad to launch multiple Frisbees at South Quad residents on Oct. 14. Fortunately, due to the failure of the attack, South Quad has declared it will not launch a counterattack. Up until this attack, many students did not believe that North Quad even possessed Frisbees. It was suspected to be a bluff posed by the revered RA who resides in North Quad. The RA has been known to fabricate stories...

While walking by CUPS, a member of The Flail staff obtained a handful of CDs from the box outside of the station. Not surprisingly, they were all a complete waste of plastic and aluminum. A particular “album” that stood out among the filth was titled Last Picked For Kickball by a “band” who call themselves Cacophony. The band call their personalized genre “Indie/Pop/SpokenWord” which consists of heavy bass, out-of-tune vocals and a lack of any musical knowledge. The opening track “Love Me, Dad” is an ear-shattering combination of spastic cymbals,...

For those of you who like jokes about Lanyards (which are always hilarious) then you are going to love Yik Yak. Some of you may be asking “What is Yik Yak?” or “Is that some sort of type of throat cancer?” Well, Yik Yak is an app that is taking the college world by storm, even more than the actually storms that are starting to roll in. This app allows you to post a message to a message board that people in your area can see. And here’s the kicker:...

When we’re young, our parents and our teachers tell each and every one of us that we are unique individuals, like snowflakes and stars, each of us different in our own beautiful way. But some of us are more unique than others. “I’m not like other girls,” first-year student Kaitlin Johnson said. Johnson drinks full calorie Snapple rather than Diet Snapple because the chemicals in artificial sweeteners are harmful to one’s health. Johnson smokes unfiltered cigarettes, because she “has demons to kill.” Though she doesn’t think she believes in organized...