Spring break found the University of Puget Sound campus flooded with mobs of noisy high school students scampering around asking for directions to Wyatt Hall and loudly yelling at each other. The University was playing host to a local high school speech and debate tournament. As this will be reccurring at least twice a year for the foreseeable future, the Combat Zone has compiled a list of how to identify—and therefore avoid—these people. A) Nine times out of ten they will be wearing incredibly ill-fitting suits that make them look...

University of Puget Sound junior Juan Peal has become a renowned fashion icon on campus, and it’s all thanks to Kickstarter. Kickstarter is a program meant to foster financial support for young artists, whether it is to record their first album or pay for art supplies. People post their cause online by city and anyone who visits the website is allowed to donate to causes. Previous successes include funding the Blue Mouse Theater to go digital and the smash science fiction/comedy film Unidentified Flying Assholes. Juan, on the other hand,...

Last week the University of Puget Sound Diner debuted its newest Asian station success, ramen. Students lined up out the door on Sunday, a line amounting to more customers than the Asian station has had since its inception. The ramen came with many different meat and topping options that left students foaming at the mouth. Little did the students know the ramen was the first in a long line of changes at the S.U.B. Based on the highly successful results of having students roll burritos for their peers, the administration...

By CHIMEZ SNAPMAN The past two weekends University of Puget Sound students have taken to the streets in order to celebrate the beloved holiday of Halloween. As Cady Heron from Mean Girls put best: “In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” However, this is much easier for the California girls in the movies than the ladies of Puget Sound. While the Pacific Northwest managed to escape the wrath of...

Hello. My name is Jill Stein and I am the Green Party candidate for President of the United States. It’s kind of a big deal. You might be wondering why I’m writing in to your dinky little school paper. If so, you’d certainly be shocked to learn that I appeared at your school last Saturday as a speaker. No, I’m serious. Truly, in all actuality, I was here, on Oct. 20, speaking on the Politics of Courage Tour. This is not a joke that the stupid satire section of your...

As an alumnus it has come to my attention that the University plans to remodel Club Rendezvous in the coming years. This recent revelation has brought up a slew of memories at what we then called Rendezvous 54, and how it defined my time at Puget Sound. Rendezvous was the place to be seen on a Friday night in 1976. I was a freshman and had only heard rumors of the Rendezvous 54 glory. My stomach was in knots but my hair was feathered and fresh and my jeans fit...

The 2012-2013 school year has seen a drastic uptake in the number of jobs outsourced to students, the most obvious being the new self-swipe card machines in the S.U.B. But more changes are on their way as part of the ten-year plan for the University. The first change to be made involves eliminating as many workers from the S.U.B. as possible. “S.U.B. jobs are probably a huge drain on the University budget,” sophomore Hayley Grey said. “I mean students never stop eating so they have to keep it open all...

My name is Yewfrond Goldberg and I am the leader of an environmental action group known as Transfer Students for a Sustainable Earth, or TSSE. It has come to my attention that our recent action against the University has gone unnoticed. We of TSSE share a commitment to a back-to-basics lifestyle and the preservation of Mother Earth. Based in the canopy of the Arboretum, we live and work amongst the trees, descending only to feed, excrete and fornicate. Our organization was recently alerted to the wholesale destruction of the environment...