Jonah Hill wins every single Academy Award
Two-time Oscar nominee Jonah Hill won an Academy Award in every category...
archivecomedy
Spring break approaches, promises thrills galore
Ahhhhh...it has begun. Or, in the words of eminent philosopher and scholar...
MUCH NEWS. VERY HEADLINE. WOW.
PORTLAND, OR—Yesterday burnout hippie Abe Sizzlebrook was found dead on the kitchen...
Classifieds
Warning: #hashtag hex still in effect! The following hashies have been declared...
Biden is hella evil
“House of Cards” is Netflix’s adaption of the 1990 British political thriller...
Top three cutest ways to reinforce the patriarchy
While we all know the patriarchy is an oppressive, evil system that...
Hashtag revolution
Lemmings, lemmings, lemmings. We have quite a predicament on our hands, and...
US Congress passes bill to stab a kid unanimously
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In an act of bipartisanship unseen since the time of the...
Local elementary school to put on historically accurate Thanksgiving holiday play
Gearing up for the holiday season, Tacotown Elementary School has recruited students...
NO HOPE FOR THE HUMAN RACE: horoscope
By MR. BUTTFIST Aries: Due to the lining up of Mercury and...
ASUPS elections: dressed-up popularity contests or more?
By YOLO ONO After a week of voting and intense debate, students...