Combat Zone

The days are definitely getting shorter but it’s not, like, cold cold yet, except early in the morning

Oh, the fog? It’ll go away soon. I’m from around here. — Photo courtesy of Flickr

Reports from the campus community and beyond indicate that the sun is rising later and setting earlier, and yes, it is getting colder — it’s colder than summer was — but that being said, it’s not really frosty like it gets in winter. Some sources have astutely pointed out that there are, at present time, still some leaves on the trees.

“Yesterday, it was dark at 7 a.m. and 7 p.m. I walk to work at 7 a.m. every morning. A couple months ago, it was light out when I went. But yesterday it was dark. So, yeah, time is definitely passing,” said a local woman who wished to remain anonymous.

Gregory Banesby, a Tacoma regional chess champion, said, “Two days ago it was very foggy. The day before that it was cloudy, but not foggy. Two days after that day — that’s yesterday — it was clear as a true love’s song. Mother nature plays her cards close to the vest.”

Some community members have become entrenched in conflict over seasonal changes.

“It’s been blustery for days. Unseasonably windy. I don’t know the math, but the probability of it being that windy for four days, back to back without pause, seems unlikely. Seems strange,” tiny old woman, Bernice Caddlesburg, said.

“One minute it’s windy, next thing you know it’s so still you almost want to say, ‘Hey! Who turned off the wind up there?’” construction site manager Alex Purpinandina said. Studying the skies, Purpindina added, “Bernice is off her damn rocker.”

Examination of previous writings and records seems to suggest that these recent changes are part of a repeating pattern. Evidence shows that similar shifts happened in 2017, and parallel changes were found in 2016, 2015 and every year of recorded history before that, also.

“We are more than halfway through fall, and soon, it will be winter,” was an opinion offered by a wise man.

“Fall is dying in winter’s unsympathetic arms,” said Marvolo Mints, a bad-ass amateur poet who specifically requested we print his name.

“What’s better, T.V. or movies? I say, why decide? Movies are short T.V. and T.V. is long movies, and I wouldn’t want to live without the both of them,” said a woman from the window of a car.

T.V. is in its golden age right now.

“If it’s dark, I fall asleep. When it’s light, I get up. This is a time of a lot of sleeping for me,” said a smart lady named Norah who used to be a boxing coach.

“The days are definitely getting shorter, but it’s not, like, cold cold yet, except early in the morning. Or if it’s a cold rain, a persistent cold rain or so humid that you walk outside and it’s like rain anyways. It’s just misting, it’s not raining. That kind of weather is cold because you’re wet, like in your bones. I guess my favorite season would have to be spring because there’s so much to look forward to, and you get to leave things behind,” said Amelia Earheart.

Jolene Sandlermen, advocate for Weather Voices Rising, said “It’ll burn off,” while studying the clouds.

The data suggests that yeah, it’s the Pacific Northwest and all, so you expect a certain amount of rain and clouds and the like, and raininess, but also, you know, it’s hard. All that grayness.

“I actually really like the rain,” said a woman with a smug smile.

“Wait 20 minutes and it will change,” said that same wise man again.

Those interviewed universally agreed that time is moving forward and things seem to be … a little different.

“Boy, it’s hot!” Jordan Pearson said.

If you are as concerned as we are about these changes, write a letter to the Combat Zone editor, campus mailbox #3918.