SPO TRIP:
Are you a Super Punny Outdoorsperson? Well then beefcakes have we got a trip for you.
Wanna guess where we’re headed?
CAPSLOCK MOUNTAIN CAPSLOCK MOUNTAIN ALL ABOARD FOR CAPSLOCK MOUNTAIN! BE AT THE TROLLFACE RAGESTATION AT 5:45 A.M. SHARP BECAUSE WE’RE GETTING OUT OF HERE LIKE EXCLAMOBANGS ON HOT CHEESE.
LOVENOTE FROM STUDENT’S POCKET: Hey [smudged out student employee name]! You’re…uh…crap. I want to [scratched out verb] your face? This is probably not the best way to contact you. I hope this doesn’t end up on the Internet.
ALLITERATION CLUB:
We’re wnot wmeeting wis week.
ANNOUNCEMENT:
Calling all man-children! Meeting this week in Wyatt 404. Bring ur fedora ;)
ANNOYING SIBLINGS CLUB:
If you have one, then you are one. Everyone else who says otherwise is a LIAR. Or selling something. Contact: moooom_she_keeps_poking_me@arewethereyet.com
REALISTIC PICK UP LINE:
“Hey! So, I noticed your tee-shirt from across the room, and I totally LOVE LOVE that show—wait a minute. Is that lite beer? OMFG GET OUT!!!”
HOW TO PICK UP PEEPS:
Put on your pants. Go to the gym. Do squats for 4-5 months until you can carry a small grizzly with ease. Go to bar. Pick up the stranger. Put the stranger back down.
Run like your butt’s on fire because the stranger probably won’t like that very much and you’ve only been doing squats so your mile time is shit.
DEEPLY CONCERNED FACILITIES ADVISORY WARNING:
BEWARE OF CLIMBING TREES!!! Especially the oaks and the pines! And all the tree sex in the Arboretum. What the hell is wrong with the Pacific Northwest???!!!
MISCELLANEOUS NOTES:
[We tried to print them but then they got all uppity on us and ran away.]
PICKLES TEACHES NATHAN HOW TO DO MATHS:
diggadiggadugidahdiggahdiggahowappawiddlydoodldatigpigsiggydingdongshittabittawaddajabbalabbaruggablahblahdadiggaduggidahsiggatiggawiggadaBLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
ENCEPHALITIS:
Fever, headache, confusion, seizures. Better get lumbar-ed up for battle, because we’re going DOWN DOWN IN AN EARLIER ROUND SUGAR WE’RE GOING DOWN SWINGING I’LL BE YOUR NUMBER ONE WITH THE—shit I can’t remember the rest of the lines. Probably wasn’t important. I think.
COMP SCI PSA:
PLEASE, oh PLEASE!! Do NOT give the hyperlinks any more SUGAR!