Starting out, a fresh semester is peppered with new binders, reunions with friends and, for some, slumping back into a self-defeatist attitude regarding one’s love life in this petri dish of a community. The latter is something I have seen many a strong person fall victim to. Many times what perpetuates or aggravates this scenario is a little something I like to call the 60/40 blues. .
The 60/40 refers to the approximate female/male ratio on campus. Since my freshman year, my feelings toward this interesting dynamic have fluctuated from triumphant to powerless.
After a few years of grappling with it, the main thing is that the 60/40 ratio is a really, really good scapegoat. If you’re feeling a little down about your love life or lack thereof, it’s easy to justify it with something that is out of your control. But really, the control lies with you to get what you want out of your life.
The most common complaint I have heard is the whole “all the good guys are taken/gay/insert excuse here” thing.
Now, this is just not true. Dissecting it to solely examine the first portion, “all the good guys,” it is clear the logic is seriously flawed. What is a good guy?
And, more importantly, is it objective? One can’t possibly divvy up the bachelors on campus, separate them objectively into “good” and “not good” piles while eliminating the chance of throwing out a love prospect with the bathwater.
The biggest problem in the attitude toward “goodness” in all the guys or girls on campus is that it is suffocatingly generalizing. Attraction is a beautiful and bizarre thing that is as wholly subjective as it is often totally unpredictable.
One has to remember that we are all individuals with our own story and unique personality. When looking at a potential love interest, it is not whether they are a “good” guy or girl, but whether they are good for you in a compatibility sense.
Now, this frustration with the off-kilter ratio of course revolves around a morsel of truth. After all, the imbalance is well and alive, fluctuating with each class.
It is not limited to our tiny campus. In fact, in a study conducted by the University of Michigan, researchers showed that in the 50 largest metropolitan districts, those with a shortage of women had an increase in commitment to marriage on the male part.
This study at face value looks at an extreme that does not apply to most college students: marriage. But the implications of it translates well to our 60/40 issue. Intuitively, this implies that the hot commodity gender is less likely to commit.
So yes, the ratio probably does have a negative effect on the relative ease to ensnare a member of the male sex on our campus. But remember that even if the ratio makes men a little harder to come by, the absolute worst thing one can do is admit defeat, letting the ratio dictate your love/lust life.
Plus, it is unfair to assume that all guys here let this hot commodity thing get to their heads.
Sitting around and cursing the ratio instead of getting out there and getting your flirt on will not get you any action. It is all about those little, everyday connections with people. As always, you have the power to better your situation of luuurve.
Personally, my beef with the ratio has almost been completely curbed. What really helped was taking responsibility for my own behavior and how it affects my interpersonal relations. Without pushing the line of self-criticism, I have found that evaluating how you interact with the gender of your fancy is helpful.
For example, I constantly work at being more approachable. For starters, this means making sure one’s neutral face is not super intense…or super bitchy. Next, being more open to talking to everyone, including members of the opposite sex that are not your cup of tea, helps one develop the skills to get oneself out there.
So, 60/40 blues be damned, assuming you are straight (and if not, this might be a good thing), be grateful you don’t go to an all-girls or all-boys school. Put a smile on, stay positive and stay frisky my little sexmongers!
