The Happy Trail

The other day, I was at a party talking to a very respectable fellow: cute, well-versed and utterly filthy when drunk. Every conversation would quickly devolve into a deluge of extended metaphors about his monstrous appendage (or so he said). After a while, this well-endowed raconteur dissolved entirely into giggles. Tears in his eyes, he apologized to me, the only woman in his audience: “Sorry, I think about sex all the time!” I snorted, “It’s okay, I do too!” then plied my face into fake seriousness. No laughs. The drunken...

Winter break is coming up—that magical time when you recuperate from the stresses of the semester and don’t bother with wearing pants. Perhaps  you also spend some time reflecting on what pulled you into the hellhole of academia in the first place. We can all agree that breaks are great. They distance you from your reality for a short while, allowing you to take a breath and think about who you really want to be rather than who you’ve become in the tempestuous soup of sex, studies and spirits that...

Welcome, babes of toyland! This week we’ve worked together to bring you Sex Toyz 101: Happy Trail style. Dildos, vibrators, cock rings and, of course, the ubiquitous and ever-useful lube. Learn some lessons and remember the rules—always play naughty, and don’t always share. This ain’t your happy meal toy, sexy thing. These toys are going places (and in places, and up places, and over places…). (And remember, if you want a sex toy but don’t want to go to a sex shop, try Babeland.com. They ship in nondescript boxes so...

Someone of the sex you fancy walks into the room and suddenly you’re acutely aware of their very presence. Your senses sharpen, like a cheetah lusting after a distant zebra’s plump rump. Why do you have the sudden urge to whisper in that person’s ear, “Take me?” This immediate, inexplicable attraction to someone, even while knowing them little or not at all, is chemistry—like a moth to a flame. Think for a second, if you will, of a person that you’ve seen that gives you butterflies, or maybe someone that...

Ah, orgasm. Even though it’s (usually) pretty obvious when you’re having one, the form, function and mechanics of the whole O-rdeal are pretty complex. This complexity is hard to study empirically so there are a lot of gaps in our knowledge of orgasm. The biggest factor, too, is the wide variation in any one person’s experience of orgasm, let alone the variation from person to person. It pains me to generalize such a subject, but there are several things that are worth thinking about when it comes to achieving orgasm....

When was the last time you were out with a friend and asked, “So, been masturbating lately?” or “What position did you and what’s-his-name try out last night?” Most of the time, we don’t exactly consider these topics great conversation starters. Now I’m not asking you to go all Tommy Wiseau from The Room and ask out of the blue, “Anyway, how is your sex life?” but maybe good old Tommy has a point. Maybe we should be caring about each others’ sex lives more. Sexuality is an inherent part...

If you’re not too tied up at the moment, do take a minute to learn how you could be. For some, that pun alone will have been enough of an exercise in sadomasochism—but others of you might learn a little something about your naughty selves. BDSM is one of the most common fetishes among the kinky crowd. While you may not be investing in a latex bodysuit anytime soon, who doesn’t like to relinquish control once in a while or have power over another’s pleasure? Once you get past the...

Bondage-Discipline—Domination-Submission—Sadism-Masochism. Some pretty strong words in there for what comprises the meaning behind the acronym BDSM. Understandably, it can make one want to immediately run in the other direction. But please, take off your coat (or… pants) and stay a while. I get it, I had the same reflex whenever I head about it. Most people think pain and cruelty; I used to associate it with humiliation and disrespect. Then I found out more. Beyond what the on-the-surface scary components of the BDSM label suggest, Wikipedia’s ballin’ definition is: “an...

I don’t know about you but I love a good boner, boning or pegging joke—though the comedic category of pegging might just be me...and my future pet named “Peggy.” As a culture we seem to have a really great and prolific sense of humor about sex. I’m all for giving exposure to something that can be so taboo. But despite the buttload of jokes about sex in a neutral environment, it is so incredibly important to maintain one’s sense of humor inside the bedroom as well. This ability to joke...

Now that Suzy has given you a good dose of comedy, it’s time to take our sexy to a more serious level. Have you heard? In a typical two-week period 26 percent of college men and 35 to 50 percent of college women reported engaging in an unwanted sex act according to “The Cambridge Handbook of Personal Relationships.” That number should terrify you because it means that at least a quarter of our school population is regularly having a crappy time in the bedroom—to say the least. And for the...