Anal sex is the universal link, friends. Everybody has a butt! Yet the noble asshole simply does not get the lovin’ it deserves — I’m looking at you, hetero ladies.
Now, while straight girl is the only perspective that I can personally speak from, these tips can apply to anybody looking to try something new, be it with a toy (with a flared base) or a penis. So let’s do some anal real talk.
I was set on never having anal sex, because despite all claims to the contrary, I was pretty convinced I was going to poop all over my partner. But the fact of the matter is that on a regular day your poop is hanging out way up in your intestine where even the lengthiest of appendages can’t reach it.
The only time that it heads down to your rectum is when you’ve got to go — and when you’ve got to go, it’s a simple equation: poop first. Have sex later. A side perk of anal is that it’ll get you really in tune with your bodily functions.
But the truth is, you might have a little residue hanging around. You can do a quick cleaning by inserting a soapy finger into your butt in the bathroom, or you can just deal.
All sex is a nasty cocktail of bodily secretions — and if you love sex, you ought to embrace the juices.
If you or your partner gets a little gross, just keep a rag next to the bed for post-coital cleanup or hop into a sexy shower together.
When I was a rookie, I had anal when my stomach was feeling kind of funky — my partner initiated it and I felt uncomfortable saying, “No I might have to poop soon.” Not exactly the sexiest thing to say in bed.
And I won’t lie — it wasn’t the cleanest dick when it came back out. But he wiped it off, and when I ran to the bathroom humiliated, he was outside the door asking me if I was okay. No mention of my scatological transgression.
The moral of that story is: If you don’t communicate too well, you might end up with a somewhat shitty situation.
But if you’ve got a caring, trustworthy partner, you’ll move on and soon be butt-boning like pros. And being totally frank with each other for the sake of kick-ass sex — really, a subtle “not today, honey” is all it takes.
When you’re getting ready for some anal lovin’, be sure you’re nice and turned on. That’ll help your sphincter relax for easier entrance. So get it on with some foreplay or even have some vaginal sex if you’ve got the right equipment — an orgasm or two will get you more relaxed and comfortable with your partner.
Just be sure to go vag-to-butt and not vice versa (unless you change condoms), as the bacterial transfer could leave you with an infection.
Now, the anus is a delicate creature, and it does not self-lubricate.
So please, for the love of your sphincterial membranes, go liberal with the lube.
Silicone lube won’t absorb into your skin, so it’s great for long-lasting in-and-out. Start with a finger, gently inserting and massaging.
Move on to two.
Once you feel that sphincter loosen up a bit, your partner can insert toy or dick — slowly and gently!
Real talk: anal sex might feel a little funky at first. Other people that I have discussed it with have agreed that it can feel a little like someone is churning your insides. But I’ve found that anal sex can put you in a sort of place of zen.
The key is to focus on the good feelings — if you focus on any strange sensations, you will get tense and it’ll only feel worse.
To help you have the best experience, your partner can also rub your clit or cock (again, be sure it’s not the same fingers they put up your ass, or wear a barrier), or you can whip out the ever-handy vibrator.
So take a second. Have your partner go slowly in and out. Breathe.
You might just feel your prostate (gentlemen) or G-spot (ladies) doing magical things. And you might even come to enjoy it.