I met this guy after my nasty ex and I broke up and he is the sweetest ginger boy I have ever met. He lives 30 mins away and makes the drive to me all the time. He takes me out to dinner, buys me anything I want, kisses my forehead, calls me beautiful, listens to me talk about my niche interests, and makes me feel safe… but he is still hung up on his ex that he broke up with 6 months ago?? He doesn’t talk to me about her, but I see his instagram stories and tiktok reposts. I don’t want him to be the one that got away, but again, he is just a man. I didn’t text him for 2 weeks and he never texted me, but the second I invited him over, he was back in an instant. Lowkey, am I being used? I’ve had some of the worst exes known to man, but he doesn’t give me any bad vibes (my usually disapproving roommate agrees). Should I continue to let this situationship thing happen?? I literally can’t stand to meet any more men (shout out to the guy before him that made me watch key and peele during our nighttime escapade).
Best,
The Lowest Standards You’ll Ever Meet
Dear The Lowest Standards You’ll Ever Meet,
I wouldn’t worry too much about this ginger boy being “the one that got away.” That type of thinking can put you in a mega brain rut and I do not recommend dwelling on regrets much at all. I’m glad you’ve had some fun times, he sounds like great boyfriend material, other than the being-hung-up-on-the-ex part.
From years and years of personal experience, I’ve generally found that men, unfortunately having a lack of emotional intelligence, shut down/block out feelings/get a little cuckoo post break up (on average, no offense to men). If you are looking for things to get more serious, this may be a slight issue, especially if he’s posting semi-mysterious ex-related content. Six months is a while, but not THAT long of a time to get over a relationship, depending on the length, intensity, seriousness, etc. It sucks to feel like a second-choice pick, but I wouldn’t focus on it too much if you’re not looking for things to develop into a full blown relationship. Given his actions, it seems like he likes you! In terms of the not texting thing, I’m sure that he’s just basing his actions off of yours to suss out the comfort level and the type of relationship you’re looking for. You have power in this situation. I think you should continue to take it one step at a time. Let things develop, and assess how you feel. Let’s hope he doesn’t play any Comedy Central during sexy time, and that he continues to buy you things. I would just sit in this moment and savor the perks.