Idiotic quiz: What’s your taste in movies?
Have you ever have trouble deciding on which movie to watch? “Do...
Combat Zone
Horoscopes
Aries – Aries, it is time to finally attend to all the things you’ve forsaken for your love of dumpster diving. This is a time of self-examination for you. Start with the scalp, checking for lice, etc. and just work your way down until you figure out what is causing this horrible itchiness. And the other thing. Taurus – This winter has been tough on you, dear Taurus, but be patient, you may soon be able to leave the house. In the middle of March, you may feel suddenly illuminated,...
Mark Zuckerberg: “The internet is just a fad.”
The Internet is so over. You may now group it among some...
In a move to go green, Cupid switches from arrows to “bitch slaps”
As the costs and hazards of arrow production continue to climb, few...
Rosie O’Donnel: “I’m a marsupial”
Rosie O’Donell announced today, in a surprise press conference, that she is...
Elections 2011: In-depth candidate profiles
Who will be the next ASUPS President? Get the news before you...
Despite student protests, University squanders flower budget on useless campus renovations
Although Puget Sound students have been demanding elaborate campus flower updates for...
Ask the Love Attorney: VD Special!
Is there anything better than VD? It’s the one day a year...
The Universal Valentine
Worried you won’t find the right words to express your feelings to...
Arsenic microbe prefers Cheetos, beer
When asked what he ate before Cheetos were invented, the microbe replied: “I think of the day Cheetos were invented as the day I was truly born. They are dangerously cheesy.” He sounded drunk.
A little chat with Santa Claus
Combat Zone: Alright Santa, let’s cut the cute stuff and get right down to business. Is it a coincidence that your first name has all the same letters as “Satan”?