Combat Zone

The Passive-Aggresive Manifesto

A spectre is haunting America: the spectre of passive aggression. Passive aggression has been acknowledged by all the powers as a power and the hour is ripe for us to openly, in the face of the world, publish our views, our aims, and our tendencies—but only if you want to as well. Passive Aggressors are by their nature REVOLUTIONARY. We can simultaneously pull guilt, anger and tact into a single sentence designed to slowly destroy the mind. I think it’s great how well we passive aggressors have done...I just always...
Combat Zone

Superbowl airtime too costly for NFL to continue airing Superbowl

Due to the high price of commercial airtime, the National Football League no longer has enough money to air content during the Superbowl. Competition between national corporations has made Superbowl advertising the most contested of any space all year, and companies forking over huge amounts of money no longer want to give up their space for silly trifles like football games. The League’s financial problems have been caused by the 4-hour long Superbowl and its array of capitalistic philosophies. An average game, at 3.5 million dollars per 30 seconds, would...
Combat Zone

A message from PSO

Puget Sound Outdoors would like to welcome any student who passionately loves bears to attend an informational meeting on Wednesday, Nov. 16, at 8 p.m. to arrange a bear trapping trip in the North Cascades. The trip will last through the following weekend, and we hope to capture both black and grizzly bears. Trip leader Serenity Blume has related that she intends to capture the bears with trapping systems involving granola, hemp and a Northface tent. Serenity encourages students to not be afraid. She has personally lived with bears for...
Combat Zone

Patient suffering from Alzheimer’s forgets Alzheimer’s, cures self

William Dahlmann was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s when he was 67. William forgot memories, faces, he even forgot to wipe after using the bathroom. His grandchildren constantly extorted money from him, each day claiming that he had not given them a birthday present yet. After struggling with Alzheimer’s for nearly 20 years, at age 86 William Dahlmann finally forgot that he had Alzheimer’s, and cured himself of the disease. Scientists and philosophers alike have been trying to discover how this strange miracle occurred. “I have a theory,” Dr. Joe Morgan,...