The Passive-Aggresive Manifesto
A spectre is haunting America: the spectre of passive aggression. Passive aggression has been acknowledged by all the powers as a power and the hour is ripe for us to openly, in the face of the world, publish our views, our aims, and our tendencies—but only if you want to as well.
Passive Aggressors are by their nature REVOLUTIONARY. We can simultaneously pull guilt, anger and tact into a single sentence designed to slowly destroy the mind. I think it’s great how well we passive aggressors have done…I just always thought we were more ambitious than that.
Consider friends, how we—half passive, half aggressive—have not realized our true power. It’s fine if you want to stay under the iron boot of the blunt-minded, just don’t think about how your friends and family will probably judge you for it each and every day. The blunt person has and continues to control conversation by cutting through the beautiful spider web of words, silences, sticky notes and HEY-YOUs a passive aggressor weaves. The blunt person is a nice guy, he is well meaning, but he must be extinguished permanently.
Only in numbers, together, can we vanquish the cruel conditions that straight conversation has created. For the true passive aggressive person, only after every blunt-minded person has been destroyed in a non-bloodless brain altering revolution will we be successful. With a combined effort, we should be able to topple all the unworthy through sheer aggravation, unless someone messes up. The blunt man’s fall and the victory of the passive aggressive are inevitable. Show up to our meeting on Tuesday, unless you have better things to do with better friends.