GUEST COLUMN: Mind Your Manners with Mr. Clean
It’s like Saul always tells me, “You keep this house so clean sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind, like I’m in an insane asylum.”
Combat Zone
Ignorant freshmen to live together next year
Five freshmen, all from the Anderson/Langdon dorm, have committed to getting a...
Student chemist discovers, destroys “friend zone”
Evan Zamiri, ’12, an aspiring biochemist studying at the University of Puget...
Demeaning Quiz: Categorize your music tastes
Please thoughtfully answer the following questions, then check your score below: 1)...
From screen to page: Harry Potter book series in the works
If you haven’t been living under a rock these past nine years,...
The Puget Sound Black Market is having a Black Friday Sale!
To help prepare you for Black Friday, we sniffed out some of...
The Hey You’s: Dredging up the past
In celebration of The Trail’s 100 year anniversary we are running selections...
November Horoscopes
Scorpio: Oct 23 - Nov 21 You are deaf to your friends’ attempts to communicate. Hint: Take off the headphones. Sagittarius: Nov 22 - Dec 21 You will either have a terrible dream or a terrible day. Regardless, getting someone to slap you only makes it worse. Capricorn: Dec 22 - Jan 19 With the rings of Saturn spinning, everyone gets better-looking when you are drunk—except for you. Aquarius: Jan 20 - Feb 18 If you keep making faces at that bitchy girl behind her back, your face will stay...
News Briefs
Ugly sweater party not a joke What do you think Taylor meant when he said, “Thanks for inviting me to your party, sorry I forgot to dress up”? Boys are sooo weird! Whatever - let’s get back to what we were talking about before: what did you guys get for 16 across? I got “pineapple”. Combat Zone writer graduates from West Point Amid congratulations and handshakes, the humorist claims it started out as a joke, “But there is nothing funny about war… Aw, who am I kidding, our military is...
Bieber Fever claims young girls
Last Tuesday, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), declared a...
Ask the Love Attorney
Dear Love Attorney, I like a girl a lot and I want to write her a poem to win her over but I am borderline illiterate and apparently horrible at poetry. I hear you are a good poet. Do you have any tips for writing poetry, or better yet, any already-written love poems that I could read to her? From, Pablo Neurotic Dear Pablo, May I first say that you write very well for an illiterate, and illiteracy was never an excuse for being a bad poet. It never stopped...