Line connoisseurs like myself are by far the most patient type of connoisseurs. If you were to put all the different types of connoisseurs in a line, we would be at the front of the line (no cutting!). Yes, the sandwich line, the line at diversions, lines in Oppenheimer stretching out the door – we’ve been dealing with the same lines at UPS for years, and we’ll wait forever. Because for us, waiting is an art.
Recently, I was in the SUB deciding whether to stand in line at the sandwich station or the vegetarian station, when I discovered a magnificent whiteboard sign that told me to “Try our new wrap line” with a convenient arrow pointing towards the sandwich station (which admittedly, confused me because there was also an arrow telling me that the sandwich line was in the complete opposite direction from where the actual sandwich station was, but I guess you would have to be as dumb as a sorority girl to follow it.) I knew I had to give this new line a try. I took my spot at the back of the line, and the anticipation of what was at the front was killing me. Within minutes at least three more people filled in behind me, but I still hadn’t moved forward.
After about six minutes the chubby fellow in front of me took a step forward, allowing me to take my first step closer to the front. The feeling was exhilarating, it was somewhere between getting one step closer to the front of a roller coaster line, and getting one step closer to the front of the line for Justin Bieber 3D that one has been camping out for four days to see. I got all tingly and excited.
But as great as my line-waiting experience was, it wasn’t without its faults. The view from the line was tragically dismal. Everything was going fine, until the line stopped right next to the breast cancer awareness cookies, which made me aware of how depressing breast cancer is. Luckily I was only stuck here for a few minutes before the chubby guy in front of me realized that wraps have nothing to do with chocolate cake, and left the line allowing me to move forward once again.
When I finally made it to the front of the line, the lady behind the counter offered me a sample of the wrap of the day, at which point I released that wraps are not burritos. Content with simply experiencing the beauty of a new line, I told the lady to get lost, and left the line with my spirits up and my head held high.
Despite the disappointing climax, I still really enjoyed my experience in the new wrap line. I equate it to finding a box of Lucky Charms with rocks inside at the end of a beautiful rainbow. The ending sucked, but the journey was still amazing.
FINAL LINE RATING
(out of 5 lines):
Speed:
_ _ _ _ (4 lines)
View:
_ _ (2 lines)
Straightness:
_ _ _ _ (4 lines)
People watching (Entertainment value):
_ _ _ _ _ (5 lines)
Product at end of the line:
_ (1 line)
OVERALL RATING:
_ _ _ _(4 lines)