Police stumped as senseless murders by dingoes continue
Two more innocent wombats were killed on Thursday, the latest victims in...
Combat Zone
Ask the Love Wombat
Dear Love Wombat, I just recently reached sexual maturity. I’m nervous, but...
BBC’s “Extreme Animals” will not feature wombats
Wombats across the world were appalled on Tuesday when BBC One Programmes...
Ask the Love Attorney
Dear Love Attorney, My psychoanalyst told me recently that I unconsciously want...
Student follows arrow, gets lost
Last Tuesday a student went missing after following the directions on a...
Student tries new “wrap line,” line okay
Line connoisseurs like myself are by far the most patient type of...
Campus anatomy quiz
Several students have remarked on this abstract campus snow art. “I think it looks like a pinky toe!” freshman Louise Haslow said. What do you see? A.) A nose B.) A chess piece C.) A rooster D.) A unicorn horn E.) Two enormous baseballs resting at the base of the Empire State Building F.) The mouth of a wine bottle G.) The great sword excalibur H.) A vagina I.) A flower J.) A monster truck! K.) A dolphin...
ON THE BEAT with campus security officer Terrence Flashkey
MONDAY 9:06 p.m.: Student called asking for admission to Thomson. Departed in...
New lawn mowers to function as campus-wide alarm clocks
Lawn mower Tim Henson made the statement Wednesday that he and other...
Ron Thom zombie rom-com bombs with moms
Last Tuesday the Mother’s Institution against Lewd Films (MILF) released a statement...
Campus crows caw out for recognition, food scraps
Given Puget Sound’s lack of diversity, it may not be surprising that...
Idiotic quiz: What’s your taste in movies?
Have you ever have trouble deciding on which movie to watch? “Do...