Combat Zone

Student speculates how much laughing at bad jokes affects participation grade

Expressing general concern over his GPA and scholastic future, freshman Erik Staton announced on Friday that he was unsure just how many sh**ty jokes he had to laugh at to get an A in his freshman seminar class.

Erik’s seminar, which covers topics ranging from something outside his major to weird abstract concepts no freshman could really understand, is taught by Professor Nick Jones of the English Department, and is usually Erik’s least favorite class of the day.

“I mean, usually he is a great teacher but every now and then he just says something off that I’m not sure if I’m supposed to laugh at or not,” a confused and scared Erik said. “Like every time we turn in papers, he asks us all if we are on Adderall or not. Some people laugh and others raise their hand. Participation is 40 percent of our grade and, right now,  I’m not sure if I’m supposing to be laughing or regularly taking speed.”

He went on to stress that, while he has gotten at least an A on every paper, he has no idea what that means because of how much participation counts towards his overall grade and the fact that Professor Jones doesn’t seem to use math when calculating anything.

Other students commented on the situation, expressing the same frustrations and anxieties as Erik.

“If you walk into class and say your mom died so you can’t teach, you shouldn’t expect a giggle. But he just paused for a few seconds, either collecting himself or waiting for a giggle, and then went on teaching. What the hell does that mean?” student Marissa Realfish said.

Senior Rick Ross commented on the issue: “He keeps insisting he grades our papers drunk. At first I giggled but he’s said it every time. He even used it as an excuse for getting them back to us late. The whole thing just makes me uncomfortable.”

The Flail sat down with Nick Jones after sharing with him the complaints of his students.

“I’m just goofing with them. I’m a firm believer that education needs to be a little fun and needs a lot of goofs to be effective. There is book smart and there is goof smart. I’m here to teach those kids both. And, from the looks of it, they wouldn’t know a goof if it smacked in the face and called them Mary,” Professor Jones said.

He then specifically commented on Erik’s situation: “Ah, Erik’s a good kid. He writes tremendous essays. His participation grade is a little low, but that’s just because he needs to learn how to goof a little. Because one day, when he is writing his big old books or whatever he does, someone is gonna do a goof on him and he’s not gonna get it. And he needs to get it.”