Arts & Events

Sex and the Sound

Hellloooo, Tacoma! Make some nooooise!!!!

If you’ve ever spent a Saturday night in a dorm, you probably know that making beautiful music together is a popular late-night activity.

Well, turn down the disdain and turn up the iPod, because this little sex columnist is begging for more!

Noise is a beautiful thing—any successful porno will tell you that. And while most pornos also practically scream “fake,” there is something to be said about letting all your neighbors (and your neighbors’ neighbors) know that you’re doing the nasty.

Now, let’s be realistic here: I’m not saying that you should perform an aria every time your partner dares caress your skin. That’s just misleading—you’re going to end up with a partner who thinks that a nice massage is all it takes for you to reach the big O.

But when your partner does do something that really gets you going, why not let out a bit of your inner porn star?

And MEN: I mean your female inner porn star.

Men in straight porn are so quiet you’d think they were in church. At most, you’ll get the occasional husky groan or domineering, “yeah, you like that?”

You’ll rarely catch a man letting out a moan or a whimper. That’s lady territory. Because ladies are delicate and emotional.

Men, it’s true. You’ve been brainwashed your whole lives to be “masculine,” an unfeeling pinnacle of silent strength.

But you’re in college, at the height of your stickin’-it-to-the-man days. Time to make some noise!

Ladies will love it—in the words of my friend, boys n’ noise gets an eager “HELLS YES.”

I had a partner this summer who was not afraid to let it all out. At first it was a bit off-putting, because I’d grown so accustomed to boning with no audible feedback.

But this guy made sex a duet, and soon I was figuring out all the moves that made him sing.

For both men and women, feedback helps your partner help you. And that makes everyone happy campers!

Not to mention that noise is a great way to get into it yourself—it’s a bit harder to think about your Latin homework when you’re screaming god’s name in vain.

Moaning and groaning will make you really concentrate on how great everything feels—for men, that will only make coming better, and for women, it may just get you into the zone enough to catch that oft-elusive big O.

So you can ask your floor-mate to turn up the tunes when they’re doin’ it.

But if you can still hear the occasional moan past the John Mayer blasting, you should commend them on their awesome sex life. And maybe pick up a few tricks of your own.