Halloween is right around the corner and the entire campus is talking about the same thing: the newfound celebrity of Ted Bundy’s ghost. Since his first appearance in the Schiff basement a few weeks ago, he has earned the nickname “Teddy the Friendly Ghost.” “I know he killed a lot of people when he was alive, but it seems like he’s cooled down a bit since dying. He’s become a great friend,”  senior Melissa Andrews said. “It’s actually kind of cute,” Andrews added. “He’ll try to hug people and give...

POINT: Returning Study Abroad Students Have Been Replaced by Body Snatchers. By Conner Stenner Ladies and gentlemen of the campus community: inhuman, godless monsters have overrun our beloved university. They have no conscience or moral compass. I know for certain that these returning study abroad students are not who they say they are. The people we once knew have been replaced by soulless, body-snatching doppelgangers. It’s shocking, I know, but look at the facts. Ever since those study abroad students returned, they’ve been acting suspiciously. Their outfits are the worst...