By Molly Clement   In breaking (yet somehow not surprising) news, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, CEO of Doofenshmirtz Inc., is apparently real and has been hired as a visiting science professor at the University of Puget Sound to replace retiring professors. Thus far, he has set up his laboratory in the observatory on top of Thompson Hall, and is specifically working with President Crawford on an ultra-secret research project to boost the student body's GPA by the end of the academic year. In essence, Doofenshmirtz was hired to create an “Oldifyanator” to...

Leela Perez-Cobo As of Jan. 29, several executive orders paused federally funded research for colleges and universities nationwide. Referred to as a “funding freeze,” these orders suspend billions of dollars worth of grants and loans from the federal government. These funds are commonly utilized by universities and research institutions to support university-based research projects and labs. With this shift in mind, universities and institutions alike are adjusting to new funding environments and parameters in which to carry out their work.    Due to the funding freeze, the National Institute of Health...