Deluded scholar becomes Milton
Professor James W. Snipes was surprised to find a student walking into class with a cane in one hand and a tattered leather-bound copy of Paradise Lost in his other this Monday.
We sought out Snipes and asked him about the mysterious student, to which he replied, “I’ve never seen anything like it—I can’t even remember the student’s name because he never spoke in class before but now he goes by John, acts blind, rambles about Charles I and asks any nearby female to transcribe his visions about God and the Devil to paper, as Milton himself once asked of his daughter.”
This remains a mystery but only time will tell if it’s merely a phase, or if the mafia a.k.a. the English department will need to get involved.