Arts & Events

Bigger can be worse

The majority of American culture and society tells us one thing all the time.  Bigger is better.  Bigger cars, TVs, houses, and the list goes on and on.

And one that is on that list, even though people don’t talk about it, is the penis.

The more you think about it, big penises are the dominant quality in a male sexual partner.   Men with larger members are instantly more attractive and desired.

This notion is largely seen in porn, where men with large penises dominate their partner and emphasize going “harder” and “deeper” during sex.

These instances of “harder is better” and the idealized, enormous penis can be very problematic for the receiving partner during sex.

Hard thrusting can harm a partner, potentially causing tearing and intense pain.  With a female partner, trying to thrust deeper and harder can lead to the penis literally slamming up against the cervix.

These instances are painful and not ideal for most consensual adults.  Communication is necessary to voice any pain or concerns during these encounters.

The fact is that just because the male partner has a large penis, it doesn’t make him better in bed.  And if a large penis is involved, certain precautions should be taken.

The vulva and the anus are both erogenous areas for people, but that doesn’t mean every single sensation is one of pleasure.   If not handled properly, a large penis can cause pain as opposed to pleasure in consensual situations.

Most vaginal cavities range from about 4-6 inches deep normally; when aroused, the cervix can allow up to 8 inches.  And when fully aroused, the cervix will lift slightly for a tad more room.

This highlights that of the most important factors in terms of sex with a large penis is foreplay.  Foreplay is noted as a way to prolong arousal and provide a way to keep each other increasingly turned on.

Foreplay offers stimulation throughout the body.  This continued arousal helps the receiving partner to open up.

This response is due to the relaxation of the body.  One helpful foreplay option is fingering.  Gentle fingering allows the muscles of the vagina and rectum to relax and release.  This allows the penis to have easier access without resistance.

Second, lubrication.  Many have said “Oh, my girlfriend is so wet I don’t need it.” False.  The notion that the vagina will always be wet enough is not something you should rely on.  This also reflects how lube should be always be used for anal play, as the rectum does not secrete moisture like the vagina.

Third, if the receiving partner isn’t taking to the size of the penis well, the best solution is to slow down and follow their lead on what pace and position is working for them.

The most noted option is for the receiving partner to ride on top so they can determine how much goes in and the pace at which it does.

When a large penis is involved in your consensual sex, you should communicate with your partner so that you receive the best sex possible.