The Happy Trail

How to feel sexy by yourself

You can choose to make yourself feel sexy with simple changes to routines.

Having recently tolerated a probable-sinus-infection-period-double-whammy, I fully understand the feeling where the last thing on your mind is, “Damn, I’m sexy.”

But whether you’re stressed, tired, smelly, having fluids come out of you unrelentingly or whatever, sexiness is a state of mind.

Now, it must be said right off the bat that if you don’t want to be sexual or if you feel uncomfortable trying to be sexy, then stick to your guns! The most important aspect of feeling sexy is wanting it and feeling comfortable.

Sometimes we get into a slump. We know that, in theory, we may be sexy, sexual and desirable, but we just may not feel it.

But if you do want to be sexy and can’t help but feel “meh,” it may be high time to take action and find something fresh and new that will make you feel like a million bucks.

There are many, many things you can do to feel like a sex god or goddess. Maybe all of these work for you or maybe none of them do, but if you make an effort and branch out, it will likely pay off.

The first part is to celebrate yourself. You are a beautiful, soulful creature who is sexual when you choose to be and should be respected when you choose not to be sexual.

Many people have hang-ups about their body, especially genital-wise. Maybe you don’t like how something hangs or the color palette of your netherlands. Maybe you just look different from what you usually see in porn, Cosmo or GQ.

These differences are what set you apart, and, even if you do have a porn-sized dick or a classic vulva, anyone of your choosing is damn lucky to get to see it.

There are many things you can do to increase your confidence and turn it into sexiness, because confidence is sexy. Compliment instead of criticize yourself in the mirror.

The world is your sexy oyster. Without overcompensating to the point of arrogance, when you enter a room, walk in like you own the place. Smile and you’ll feel more confident and seem more approachable. Work on that posture walk around with your head held high.

This brings us to the action part of this column: how to specifically feel sexier.

Though sexiness is a mindset, there are things you can wear and do that adorn your fabulous bod and celebrate it.

For the ladies, garters and stockings are the first thing that comes to mind. Sexy underwear, especially matching, can make you feel instantly sexy. Wear them under your sweatpants, if you want. Do it for no one but your sexy self! Guys, try silk boxers.

And then there’s always commando… though not recommended with jeans or short or see-through skirts.

In the bedroom, hit up the classic candles and massage oil. Make an aphrodisiac playlist and get down with your bad self. These things can all be used solo or with a lucky someone.

If these relatively easy and perhaps cliche moves don’t cut it, come up with your own way to make you feel like yourself and sexy. Or you could take a different type of plunge (neckline, anyone?).

After a long time of not really looking Down There and just assuming the worst, I worked toward coming to terms with myself and my body.

Last summer I even pierced (and eventually re-pierced… ouch) my clitoral hood to commemorate the revelation that I loved what was going on down there.

While a genital piercing seems crazy to many, they are a less permanent form of body celebration and expression than a tattoo.

A pierced nipple or two can be great for some who want more sensitivity in their li’l areolas.

Depending on your (female-bodied) genital anatomy, either a vertical or horizontal (google it!) clitoral hood piercing comes stamped as “Suzy Approved,” even highly recommended. It is a far easier piercing than even an earlobe because the skin is so thin it can heal in less the 14 days and has little risk for infection.

Plus, it rocks! Different sources say different things in terms of side effects, but for those of us who are oversensitive when it comes to clitoral stimulation, a piercing is a great connection to the clit without direct contact or the hood muffling the pleasure. The best part is that you know it’s there under all your clothes.

In terms of other genital piercings, such as the Prince Albert for men, piercings through the urethra are no bueno because the risk of infection in the sterile environment is too high.

Whatever makes you feel sexy, whether it be a little mascara, baggy pants or a new piercing, it’s worth it (as long as it doesn’t harm others or yourself… and is consensual). You deserve it!