It doesn’t have to be scary
If you’re not too tied up at the moment, do take a minute to learn how you could be. For some, that pun alone will have been enough of an exercise in sadomasochism—but others of you might learn a little something about your naughty selves.
BDSM is one of the most common fetishes among the kinky crowd.
While you may not be investing in a latex bodysuit anytime soon, who doesn’t like to relinquish control once in a while or have power over another’s pleasure? Once you get past the gear, isn’t it all about fantasy?
Here at “The Happy Trail,” we’re all for exploring fantasy. You already watch porn in the privacy of your own room, so why not check out something completely depraved? The first step to exploring BDSM is to click on that link to “man-toy punished” or “brunette gets what she deserves.”
You may like it, you may not. You may only like certain parts — I’m always fast-forwarding through gratuitous blowjobs, and don’t even get me started on needle torture.
The most important thing is that you’ll be expanding your sexual horizons and getting a firmer grasp on what you’re really into.
If it makes you way uncomfortable, skip to the end —oftentimes the stars, happy, naked and unbound, will debrief their sexy experience. It’s a sweet reminder that it’s all in good fun.
Now the best part: trying it out with a partner. Admitting a fetish can be hard, but remember — this one’s quite common, and if your partner cares about making you feel good, they’ll care about your fetish!
If you’re into force or pain but your partner’s scared of drawing blood, try putting your hand over your partner’s when they’re touching you and squeezing your own skin—that way they’ll get a feel for how rough you want it. Or, if you’re the sadist in the situation, you’ll know how far you can go while keeping your partner happy—even BDSM-ers want happy partners!
If you’re braver, keep in mind: few in the bedroom will complain about a huskily-whispered “spank me” or “pull my hair” from their sexy friend. And consider some power positions: sitting on your partner’s face, doing it from behind (great for the aforementioned spanking and hair-pulling), being on top. Sometimes a change of perspective is all it takes for somebody to channel that sense of helplessness or control.
Bondage also doesn’t have to be scary or complicated. A cheap scarf and a quick Google search for safe knots will get you into the bedroom fast (not to mention how naughty you’ll feel when you wear that scarf to class the next day — I go by a strict ‘if it’s around my neck, it’s been around my wrists’ policy myself).
If you don’t feel ready to tie the knot, just wrap the scarf around your partner’s wrists a few times and have them hold the ends and let their imaginations run wild.
Same goes for gagging—if you’re not ready to be silenced but like the idea, pretend that that flimsy scarf shut you right up. It’s all about the illusion of helplessness, anyway, and you’ll feel safer if it’s your first time.
Finally, remember the main tenet of BDSM: communicate, communicate, communicate.Verbally and nonverbally, express what you like. Agree on a safe word. Moan, groan, growl, wriggle and writhe.
BDSM is an elaborate performance you put on for yourself. How ‘bout a brand-spankin’ new production in your bedroom tonight?
…I’m sorry. Puns just hurt so good.