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Yik Yak: Quickly Becoming The Most Popular Thing for First Years Since The Lanyard!

For those of you who like jokes about Lanyards (which are always hilarious) then you are going to love Yik Yak. Some of you may be asking “What is Yik Yak?” or “Is that some sort of type of throat cancer?” Well, Yik Yak is an app that is taking the college world by storm, even more than the actually storms that are starting to roll in. This app allows you to post a message to a message board that people in your area can see. And here’s the kicker:...
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Student reportedly ‘not like other girls’

When we’re young, our parents and our teachers tell each and every one of us that we are unique individuals, like snowflakes and stars, each of us different in our own beautiful way. But some of us are more unique than others. “I’m not like other girls,” first-year student Kaitlin Johnson said. Johnson drinks full calorie Snapple rather than Diet Snapple because the chemicals in artificial sweeteners are harmful to one’s health. Johnson smokes unfiltered cigarettes, because she “has demons to kill.” Though she doesn’t think she believes in organized...
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University of Puget Silence faces a recycling bin crisis

    For the 17th year in a row, the University of Puget Silence has been ranked by Forbes, US News, College Prowler and other national rankings as one of the top five greenest college campuses in the United States. The campus, at first glance, fits neatly into its position; it is home to sprawling green lawns and upward-reaching trees, with Frisbees in every student’s pack and Birkenstocks on their feet—if anything at all. However, despite the school’s best intentions, its Green Life program, meant to boost campus and local...
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Birkenstock-wearing kid named most fashionable student on campus

Back by popular demand, we at The Flail are naming the most fashion-forward student on campus. Last year’s contest was a nail-biter, but we were glad to proclaim people who wore Crocs as our winners! This year, we again went with the theme of stylish shoes, which we know will always be popular in our consistent and not-at-all fickle society. While we know that most people out there will say we exaggerated the popularity of this shoe, we are absolutely confident in saying that yes, we really did inflate its...
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University responds to slow Wi-Fi with S.U.B. renovation

    Last year, the University of Puget Sound conducted a survey in which they asked students how they thought campus life could best be improved. The most common requests? Better food and better Wi-Fi connection. The campus administration heard these complaints and fervently started brainstorming solutions. It took a lot of time and a lot of money, but students finally got what they wanted: the Wheelock Student Center renovations are now complete. Two deli stations, an additional upstairs seating area and, yes, what we’ve all been asking for, begging...
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Vegans victimized by Dining Services

  Recently, dining services cut out some vegan options, namely the dough used in The Cellar’s pizza. A sign was erected next to the cash register in an attempt to raise student awareness about this wrongdoing. “I’m a vegan,” a Cellar employee said, “I won’t change that, and I deserve the same opportunities that a non-vegan is given. If I want pizza, why can’t I have it too?” Many assumed the issue had come from a lack of funding, but were outraged to find out the truth behind the cutbacks...
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Monday: Slightly sunny, potential afternoon rainfall Probability of rain: 100% Tuesday: Sunny, no cloud coverage, warm! Probability of rain: 97% Wednesday: Overcast with potential rainfall starting around 2 p.m. Probability of rain: 100% Thursday: Rain Probability of rain: 100% Friday: Rain, possible thunderstorms Probability of rain: 240% Saturday: Weak morning sun, a feeble attempt at fooling Washington residents of one, dry, sunny day Probability of rain: 96% Sunday: Sunny! Low humidity, dry, warm, absolutely beautiful weather!...
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Finals are here!

As you can probably tell, we’re pretty excited here at The Flail for what promises to be the Best Finals Week Ever. Finals week is not only a prime opportunity to demonstrate the much-sought after ability to put 25-page papers off until the last minute, it’s also a perfect time for pranks, like hiding your roommate’s final project in the Chamber of Secrets in the women’s bathroom of Howarth. He really shouldn’t have eaten your cheese puffs that one time. The university has long since given up using finals week...
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Verdict reached: I am not a real adult

After a long and heated conversation with my parents last Friday, I concluded that, when you really consider my actions, I am in no way an adult capable of being responsible about mostly anything. While I understand that legally I am technically an adult because I have experienced my 18th birthday, lived on my own and can buy my own alcohol, I believe these are just a few of the accomplishments a person must achieve to be a productive and effective citizen in society. For example, in addition to the...
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