Quad rivalry comes to a head
Tensions between North and South Quad appear to be at an all-time high, particularly since the failed attempt of North Quad to launch multiple Frisbees at South Quad residents on Oct. 14. Fortunately, due to the failure of the attack, South Quad has declared it will not launch a counterattack.
Up until this attack, many students did not believe that North Quad even possessed Frisbees. It was suspected to be a bluff posed by the revered RA who resides in North Quad. The RA has been known to fabricate stories to both fear monger and rally support from North Quad residents. Therefore, the threat was assumed to be falsified and was largely ignored.
This attack, although a failure, has raised questions among students asking with what the level of seriousness future threats should be considered. With daily perils streaming in from North Quad to South Quad, many off-campus students worry for the latter.
Some even believe it is their duty as outsiders to intervene in conflicts between the quads. While other off-campus students fear getting involved may put them at risk of the RA’s wrath. The debate on the morality of intervention has become so heated in the off-campus community that a convention was called to discuss the issue.
“Do we really want to aggravate a Quad that has attempted to launch Frisbees?” A supporter of more passive intervention said, “Regardless of the success of the attempt, North Quad has potential to become a major threat if a diplomatic solution cannot be found.”
“We are past the point of diplomatic solutions,” an advocate of direct intervention said, “the RA refuses to see reason and, as previously acknowledged, they have already attempted an attack and must be dealt with through similar actions.”
These two comments reveal the different ideas of engaging North Quad, but there exists a third party that urges the re-evaluation of any engagement whatsoever.
“What I fear most is the amount of Frisbees in the community,” an anonymous off-campus member said. “The idea of an all-out Frisbee engagement terrifies me.”
While the debate on the treatment of the two quads continues off-campus, there has been more recent news from within the quads. Allegedly, the head R.A. has not made an appearance for three days due to an undisclosed sickness, which many believe to be food poisoning. This has sent residents of the “True Quad” (a term coined by North Quad leadership) into frenzy. The residents all fear for the health of their beloved leader.
But how did this food poisoning occur? It is known that the R.A. forcefully collects dining dollars from North Quad residents. While the residents go hungry, the R.A. devours an obscene amount of food. It is possible that these gluttonous actions caused the sickness of the R.A.
Regardless of the cause, RHA has instituted a new rule in North Quad which requires all residents to wear rubber ducky costumes at all times until the head R.A.’s heath is stable. It is unclear why this decree has been made, or if there is any reasoning at all. It should be noted that this is the RHA that lied to their residents in telling them that the Puget Sound football team won the Rose Bowl back in 2012, in order to raise the sense of community in North Quad.
One thing is certain; the University of Puget Sound community fears the unpredictable, and occasionally ridiculous, nature of the North Quad. Future dealings with the Quad should be handled with caution.