Combat Zone

Special Report: University of Puget Sound Endowment Breakdown

By Ishaan al-Ghaib   Unsurprising to nearly everyone on campus, the recent endowment breakdown provided by the Puget Sound administration contained no information whatsoever. Our own compositional analysis further confirmed that any traces of substance were likely contaminants, as the administration is concurrently handling the substantial gentrification of the SUB. However, this email is still in contention for the title of “Most Meaningless Public Broadcast of the Year,” alongside @upsmissedconnections’s posts praising the music tastes of Divs and Opp employees, and all of Joe Biden’s condemnations of Benjamin Netanyahu. Hence, our...
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