Combat Zone

“The C*ck Talks” garners mixed reviews from campus audience


“My penis is a mountain, silent and majestic,” announced senior Steve Johnson.  “My penis is a shining sword, a mighty tool, a monument.”

“My penis is angry!” rejoined sophomore Chris Haardschaft.  “It is purple and aching and my balls, my balls, my balls, blue and swollen, how they cry out for freedom and release!”

Such were the priapic odes of Puget Sound’s inaugural performance of  “The C*ck Talks” Friday night in Club Rendezvous.  The show drew a mix of criticism and praise from campus audiences, who packed the small basement. The performance was sponsored by the Puget Sound chapter of the Collegiate Anti-Castration Alliance.

The themes of the talks varied, addressing topics such as circumcision, youthful locker room experiences and the joy of blow jobs.  Creator Rod Thrustington described the show as a statement against a pervasive political-cultural complex that subtly seeks to undermine and disempower men.

“Society tells us that we’re not allowed to talk about our penises, not allowed to play with them, to celebrate them,” he explained.  “I used to love my penis, but after hearing so many of these men tell their stories, I now worship it.”

One talk was given by a man who described his history of body image issues.  “It started in grade school—I was a fat kid.  I got made fun of.  Girls would never talk to me.  They said I had a fat, stubby little penis.  But I’ve since realized that I’m beautiful, my body is beautiful and that my penis is a gift.  It’s given me new confidence, and women who used to ignore me or be repulsed by me can see it and take an interest in me despite my beer gut.  Or they should, at least.”

The show lasted for well over three hours, and many talks encouraged enthusiastic audience participation. “I can shout ‘Penis!’ louder” was a particularly raucous instance.  Other talks included “A circle of wagons, covered and uncovered,” “Boners happen” and “Please stop insinuating that I am a rapist.”

Some critics noted that women were often ignored, demonized and generally shown in a less-than-favorable light.  Many talks referenced anonymous female tormentors, while others failed to acknowledge women at all.  The lone female character named in the script was ‘Babs’, a woman who was nondescript and unremarkable aside from the fact that she happened to love penises.

Others reviews were more favorable.  “I liked it,” junior Alyssa Peterson said.  “The tone was a little bit confrontational, even accusatory, but I think it’s a message that people need to hear.  Women especially.”