The five most useless YouTube videos of all time

YouTube has given this generation a vast platform to express ourselves, be it through anime-mixed music videos, funny cat compilations or how to play guitar tutorials.  Yet there are genres within the YouTube community that should truly be labeled as dubious entertainment.

1. Social experiments have become a disease on YouTube, and not because the most recent video “Drunk Girl in Public (edit: Awareness Skit)” went viral.  Like this one, many of these productions are staged, often uncomfortable and most often slightly racist.  YouTuber Chescaleigh explains on her channel how these prank or “social experiment” videos have become formats used to antagonize other races, specifically in low-income neighborhoods that are largely populated by black people or other people of color.

“Yeah, those things just make me uncomfortable.  I also don’t really get the point,” sophomore transfer student Rachael Garrison comments.

Not only do they reinforce negative stereotypes, but they’re maybe just a bit boring.

2. In a perfect world, parodies would only be made by professionals—perhaps music video directors or even writers.  Lonely Island, for example, and their inexcusable ballad, “I’m on a Boat,” incurred a flood of YouTube parodies parodying a parody.  To watch any of these is an encouragement to abandon this vessel and toss yourself overboard with a small hope of drowning.

3. According to YouTube’s info page, 100 hours of video are uploaded to YouTube every minute.  And it would seem that every minute, every hour is spent uploading tribute/montage videos on YouTube, just by the number alone.  And yet the sheer amount of montage tribute videos, typical homages to a favorite television character or characters, are unquestionably moving… me toward psychosis.

Comedian Michael Swaim, content creator of Cracked TV, dedicates an episode of his Internet comedy series to “The 8 Least Necessary YouTube Tributes”—all of which comprise stills from hit 90s comedy, “Home Improvement.”

“This stunning tribute to ‘Home Improvement’ brings together a lot of the elements we’re looking for: Low view count, inexplicable five star rating, and a minimum of effort.”

No amount of star wipe, page peel or dissolve iMovie effects can heal a nation from losing Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor. Watching these short films is emotionally exhausting.

4. The one ultimate, unforgivable sin of the Internet video medium is the YouTuber who misleads the viewer from the video’s title into thinking they had recorded a certain event when in actuality it’s simply them talking about the event.  There is no need to further elucidate.  This, plain and simple, is treachery.

5. Sequels to viral videos are consistently indicative of nosedive Internet fame.  The follow up to an Internet hit always savors of disappointment.

“I recently watched a video made by the guys who created ‘What Does The Fox Say?’ only this one was called the ‘Trucker’s Hitch.’  It was pretty bad,” sophomore transfer student Lucy said.

It would be best if we all boycotted viral video sequels, if only to protect the pride of renowned youtubers.  If someone has created a pièce de résistance of a viral hit, unsubscribe from them immediately.  They have to learn.