Dave Wright actually runs entire school, new
report shows
By Grizz's Toe A leaked internal University report shows that Reverend Dave Wright, University Chaplain, is single-handedly in charge of all campus functions. The report, titled “Dave Can Probably Do That,” gives a detailed outline of the Reverend’s daily tasks, showcasing an impressive work ethic and a schedule that seems to defy time and space. Wright’s day starts at two o’clock in the morning, where he can be found retreating from the chapel attic to mow and water the University’s lawns. They then move to work in the SUB, cleaning...