I’m a graduating senior who was in a committed relationship for most of college. Newly single, I’m suddenly realizing how attractive I find people I’ve known for years. Truth be told, I want several people very badly. But I’m conflicted! It feels like a bad idea and a recipe for hurt feelings to try and initiate something with anyone with only a couple weeks left until graduation. I’m not looking for anything remotely serious, but it feels disingenuous to pursue people casually on such a short timeline. Even if that wasn’t an issue, I don’t know which person I would want to make a move on. Part of me doesn’t want to make a move on anyone for fear of shutting potential doors elsewhere, which feels shallow. Yet despite all this, going on dates and hooking up with someone has been on my mind constantly. Am I just yearning and horny? Should I try to do something with the way I feel?
Sincerely,
Newly Single and Confused
Dear Newly Single and Confused,
In this situation there’s only one good thing to do: party like it’s 2010 and scream “YOLO.” I find it to be very kind-hearted of you to think about coming off as disingenuous in the final four weeks before graduation. But if you’re single, yearning and horny, there’s only one good thing to do about it, and it’s to scratch that itch. You should try to keep things casual, and you should lead with that in your pursuit. Since you just got out of a long-term relationship, I would try to distance yourself from that situation as much as possible. Don’t try to get with any of your ex’s friends, and definitely do NOT tell anyone that you’ve had your eye on them for a while. Word travels fast, and I would not want any drama lingering as you’re walking the graduation stage. Yes, a small school does not bode well for dating or hookup culture; however, in terms of worrying about getting feelings hurt, yours or others, sink into the ‘final four weeks before graduation’ mentality (say “fuck it”). I’m not at all suggesting to not lead with care and intentionality in your pursuits, but these potential connections are not (and should not be) relationships, they’re flings! I don’t think you need to worry about “shutting potential doors” … who’s to say you’re going to see any one of these people you’ve got your eye on in the near future, or at all? Go on some fun dates, be young, wild and free, but make sure you know what your heart truly desires before initiating anything with anyone. Post long-term relationship, the excitement of someone new can give you a bit of a high, which can quickly turn to a confusing situation of love-bombing head fuckery. Keep it fun, keep it flirty.