By Amelia Pooser
Once upon a time, a relationship could be created by checking a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ box on a note written by your crush. In 2024, it’s not so simple anymore. Relationships today seem to be getting more and more complicated by the minute, with new perceptions of “stages,” new rules and expectations. It is a wonder anyone can keep up amid the fluctuating trends of what is acceptable when trying to find a romantic partner.
Gen Z has generally had a pretty difficult time with dating. According to Hinge’s 2024 Gen Z D.A.T.E. Report, over 44% of Gen Z has little to no dating experience, and the current dating scene isn’t offering low barriers to access. Growing up in the world of social media where relationships are flaunted (with hard and soft launches, anniversary posts, etc.) and seen as a defining factor of a person’s life puts an unintentionally large pressure on having a “real” relationship. Gen Z doesn’t take commitment lightly; it seems that people are either single, in perpetual talking stages, or have been together for 10 years with no inbetween. These gaps can be hard to bridge, especially in an era of hook-up culture and situationships.
One of the biggest pieces of advice from dating coaches like Jarryd Boyd, is to allow yourself to be vulnerable. Dating involves taking risks and accepting that at the end of the day you might get hurt or hurt someone else. Gen Z tends to be indecisive and overly cautious in this arena. Instead of breaking up with someone and risk hurting them, people ghost one another. Instead of committing to a labeled relationship, the fear of rejection leads into black holes of situationships and talking stages. Instead of just communicating or talking to another human being, everything becomes a high-stakes game, where the amount of time you wait until you reply to a text or “make a move” is a terrifying endeavor. Rejection and hurt are a part of everyday life, and show up in jobs, school, sports, friends, family and love. It is a part of being human, and on either side of the situation is room for growth. So take a chance!
Another piece of advice is to make intentions known early or immediately. Today there is a trend of choice paralysis, where people cannot make decisions for fear that it closes themselves off to other options. Thus people maintain “rosters” of potential partners or utilize apps to “play the field,” trying to seek the best possible match. This sexual FOMO might be appealing to some and not to others. So be honest and communicate your intentions!
Take a deep breath and realize that it is not that serious. Gen Z has created a whole process of steps that one has to take before even arriving at simple labels like “boyfriend,” “girlfriend,” or “partner.” Now I am not saying that this is entirely negative, but navigating these steps for months or even years is outrageous. The boyfriend/girlfriend/partner phase is a low pressure and low commitment phase AS IS. It is the stepping stone before people become more committed to each other and decide to start a life together through shared milestones, whatever that means to them.
By adding all of these complicated and ambiguous steps to the dating process, Gen Z has created this large, daunting monster that is hard to comprehend, let alone conquer. Everyone, no matter where they are on their dating journey, needs to make an effort to sustain a positive change in the dating community. So be vulnerable, set out your intentions and be honest, don’t take it too seriously, trust that it is gonna happen, and exist in the real world with all the other real people! You’re gonna do great! :)