Combat Zone

Fashionable student very confused about GLAM major

Ainsley Austin (‘23) has always dreamed of being a fashion designer. So, when she saw the University of Puget Sound offered a GLAM major, she knew exactly what she had to do. But as time has gone on, Austin is increasingly confused about what the GLAM major entails. I sat down with her to discuss her worries about the trajectory of the GLAM department and concerns for her future.

Ainsley: Hi, Ainsley.

Ainsley: Hi, Ainsley.

Ainsley: Wait, this is really confusing. Can I call you Ainsley Austin?

Ainsley: No, I’m pretty private about my identity. Surely you can figure something out.

Ainsley (author): Yeah, I guess.

Ainsley (fashionista): Okay, perfect. What did you want to ask me about?

Ainsley (Philosophy major): I wanted to hear your thoughts about majoring in GLAM. It seems like you’ve been pretty disappointed with the program.

Ainsley (GLAM major): Yeah, for sure. I declared the major as soon as I heard the name because I’ve always been a bit of a fashionista. My dream is to create my own fashion line and design clothes. But every class I’ve taken in that department has seemed really…off topic.

Ainsley (brunette): What do you mean by that?

Ainsley (blonde): Well, first of all, we haven’t discussed anything that happened after, like, 1100 AD. There’s way more fashion history beyond that. And there’s way more reading than I expected, too. Sometimes we have to read whole plays! What does that have to do with fashion? Any time I ask my professors about silhouettes or shoulder pads, they look at me funny and keep talking about some guy named Homer. I feel like I’m not getting the education I was promised.

Ainsley (shorter): That must be frustrating. This is a silly question, I’m sure, but…you do know what GLAM stands for, right?

Ainsley (taller): Well, yeah. It’s short for glamorous.

Ainsley (not UT Sketch Comedy Troupe co-lead): No, I mean at the University. It stands for Greek, Latin, and Ancient Mediterranean Studies.

Ainsley (UT Sketch Comedy Troupe co-lead): You mean like Greek, Latin, and Ancient Mediterranean Fashion Studies?

Ainsley (knows what the GLAM program is): No, just Greek, Latin, and Ancient Mediterranean Studies in general.

Ainsley (just found out what the GLAM program is): Wait, you’re telling me learning Greek has nothing to do with the fashion industry? All those plays have been for nothing? Why would they name it that? What’s glamorous about the Second Punic War?

At this point in the interview, Ainsley (angry) stormed off the set, screaming, “et tu, Brute?” The Trail has reached out for comment with no response.