To bone or not to bone? That is the question. More precisely, that is the question many will be asking this Saturday night as they hunker down with a real cutie in a dorm room with all-too-thin walls. I’ll be honest, boys. This week’s article is mostly for the girls. Mostly for us hetero girls who find that sex carries serious stigma. If you don’t do it, you’re a prude. If you do it, you’re a whore. I used to spend much time pondering this while getting down with a...

During high school, my guy friends and I loved nothing more than to kneel in the corner of the Borders erotica section and whisper the most sordid sex stories to each other. Nothing like a few “torn bodices” and “throbbing members” to brighten up your after-school experience! Flipping through a book of short stories, a veritable Hemingway oeuvre of innuendo, I came upon an exceptionally ridiculous tale (pun intended). In some sort of unforeseen, sexy future, a woman was being held captive by two well-endowed men in loin cloths. The...

On this hallowed day of the birth of The Happy Trail, I want to celebrate beginnings. Dirty beginnings. Because you, reader, have not been sexual since the moment your arm accidentally brushed against a breast on the school bus and you had to hold a textbook at waist-level for the rest of the ride home. You have not been sexual since the moment you pressed your sweaty lips against another’s in the band room and tasted Burt’s Bees and trombone mouthpiece. You were born sexual—to  tell you the truth, you...