Combat Zone

Who RAs the RAs?

Seated in towers of inscrutable power, the RAs of the University of  Puget Sound seem above all authority, almost transcending the political discourse of the Puget Sound campus.
These so-called “resident advisors” have, for some time, been an elusive organization, independent from Security Services, even the police. They report to no one and nothing but their own grossly exaggerated sense of justice. Yet they are tolerated by the administration, even publicly admired by many students. The controversy surrounding their hazy beginnings has divided the student body.
“I think they’re heroes!” said Margaret, 18, a freshman in Schiff hall. During Maggie’s first week of school, she reportedly lost her room key, and, since her roommate was out, called Security, who said they’d be at least an hour. “…and then, out of the shadows, a clipboarded figure burst out of, like, nowhere, and opened my door like it was nothing! All she said was, ‘Don’t tell anyone. It’s technically against policy,’ before throwing some kind of smoke bomb and vanishing! It was crazy!”
Their unconventional techniques draw even stronger criticism from many, including Brian, 20, who related his experiences living in TP.
“One night I was staying in, catching up on some reading, sampling a rather expensive single malt Irish whiskey, practicing alto sax, and enjoying a nice cigarette, while four or five of my friends were playing beer pong, and all of the sudden there was a knock on our door. Naively, we opened it, and an RA swooped in, and before we knew it, the scotch and the sax were gone! It was so scary, so sudden! My only question is…how did she know?”
Numerous reports have surfaced, from write-ups to floor meetings, that these vigilante style acts are pervasive across campus. No administration official would give a response, despite the growing calls to reveal the identities of the RA’s. One security official, however, who wished to remain anonymous, explained one possible, albeit unpopular, rationale.
“We need them, okay? At the end of the day, there’s bad, there’s good, and there’s justice. They do what we can’t. And I say, if you want the real fascists, just look in a mirror.”
Why do they do it? Why do they go out at night, hiding behind clipboards, exposing themselves to great danger, saving the very people who condemn them? Who are the RA’s? And does anybody RA the RA’s? And if so, who RA’s them? Can an RA RA an RA? What if the RA’s do something wrong? Can we RA them? Are we not RA’s ourselves? These are questions that will be answered in the upcoming weeks, as RAism is sure to become a hot button political issue in the upcoming presidential debate. One thing is for sure though, the RA’s, for better or worse, are here to stay.