Combat Zone

Police stumped as senseless murders by dingoes continue

Two more innocent wombats were killed on Thursday, the latest victims in a chain of senseless, inexplicable murders which have been committed since as far back as any wombat can remember.

Willy and Wanda Wombat were coming out of their burrow when they were attacked. Witnesses said the dingoes killed the victims by eating them. This violent method of killing is the famous trademark of the dingoes. The murderers , once again, left no clues revealing their motive.

“We found some paw-prints on the scene, but nothing conclusive” the Chief of Police, Warren Wombat said. “We’re really hesitant to stray too far from the burrow. That’s how the last police chief died. He was eaten. By a dingo.”

This murder investigation, which has been open for hundreds of years, always fails to progress at this crucial point.

“We have no idea what their motive could be, or what possible grudge they could have against wombats… It’s an absolute mystery.” Warren said.

Some burrow residents wonder how they can stay safe with unpredictable dingoes around, and are pressuring Wombat President, Wom Thom, to evacuate the wombat population to safer territory.

“Let’s not be too hasty,” Wom Thom said in a recent press release. “We shouldn’t assume that all dingoes are murderers just because a few of them are have eaten a few wombats. For all we know it’s just a few dingoes that are doing the killing, and for the most part, dingoes are our brothers. So are cats… Wait, I might be thinking of koalas.”

The WZ reporter who was sent to interview a dingo about this issue did not return. It is assumed that he either made friends with the dingoes and chose to live with them in the dingo colony, or he was eaten by dingoes.