Combat Zone

Woman opens pickle jar all by herself

32-year-old Sara Krat of Tacoma shocked the world on Thursday when she opened a pickle jar all by herself. The 110-pound, 5’4” female doesn’t know where the unprecedented amount of strength came from. Her amazing story began as she was making a sandwich for which she needed some pickles.

“I took the still-sealed jar out of the fridge and, like usual, expected to struggle with the lid for a few minutes before calling my husband to open the jar for me. This time, though, something was different. I popped it off with just two twists and a grunt.”

Her husband, Michael Krat, denies allegations that Mrs. Krat’s accomplishment is a defacement of his masculinity.

“It’s fine. She still can’t kill spiders,” said Krat with a shrug.

Pears ‘n Pickles, the company the Krats purchased the pickle jar from, is under investigation because of the incident. The FDA is concerned that Pears ‘n Pickles do not have their lids tightened to FDA standards. Pears ‘n Pickles responded:

“All of our lids are tight enough according to standards. This was obviously a freak accident. Although Pears ‘n Pickles would encourage women to be able to open jars by themselves, as that would increase their ability to make sandwiches, this event was simply a fluke.”

Mrs. Krat has dismissed the allegations against her husband and the investigation into Pears ‘n Pickles. “It was still difficult to get the lid off, but I’m sure it was secured appropriately. Heck, now I think I might try to change the oil in our car, and run the lawn mower, who knows!”

Lifetime has contacted Mrs. Krat about making an original movie based on her triumph. “This is a victory not just for Sara Krat, but for women everywhere. Mrs. Krat has absolutely shattered the glass ceiling of opening jars by oneself—once an area reserved only for men,” said Lifetime producers.

Mrs. Krat hopes the movie will inspire women everywhere. Looking off into the distance and clutching her jar of pickles, she said, “We will someday live in a world where women will open not just pickle jars, but jam jars, spaghetti sauce jars – jars of all shape and color!”

And thanks to Sara Krat, someday we just may.