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Shame on you, Jennifer!

If you haven’t been too busy watching Charlie Sheen’s recent downward spiral (or upward spiral? #winning?), then perhaps you’ve seen what Smart Water Inc. hopes is the next Internet viral sensation: a short Youtube clip of Jennifer Aniston vigorously promoting her “favorite” beverage.

The clip begins when Aniston confronts a young lip-syncing Internet sensation and asks “Do you know any songs about water?” At first glance, it looks to be a public service announcement against the use (and overuse) of bottled water plaguing our planet–but alas, no. The former Friends star gracefully cradles a bottle of Smart Water and essentially salivates over it for a few minutes.

It’s like Aniston asked “Do you know any songs about cigarettes?” and then quickly said,  “Because I do! Try Marlboro, it has a smooth finish that won’t let you down!”

So, what’s so bad about bottled water, you might ask? Well, it might be quicker to say what’s good about it–namely, that in the events of natural disaster we can quickly distribute water to those who need it.

Now, onto the bad:

According to the new, horrifically shocking documentary Tapped, by the year 2030, two thirds of the world will be lacking access to clean drinking water because of the booming bottled water business. “When you begin to treat water as a commodity,” the film explains, “where the price of water is dependent on supply and demand, you end up with corporate control over all of our drinking water.”

And the environmental effects of a world hooked on plastic are catastrophic. About half of the plastic bottles used in the water business go unrecycled and eventually end up in our oceans, wreaking havoc on sea life and ecosystems. There is now a “plastic stew” twice the size of Texas floating in the waters between San Francisco and Hawaii which researchers refer to as the “North Pacific Garbage Patch.”  In this patch of the ocean, there is more plastic than plankton.

But back to Jennifer Aniston. How could she sell herself like this? Even Pamela Anderson (yes, I said “even”…sorry Pamela) has a moral compass. Aniston should be using her devout fan base to do a little good. The way I see it, Hollywood celebrities have only two real responsibilities: make good movies and make the world a better place. Right now, I can’t say Aniston is doing either.

[Author’s note: This article contains a link to Aniston’s/Smart Water’s Youtube clip, which is regretfully providing viewer traffic and support to a company that is doing harm to the planet. If you clicked on the link and feel bad about it, you can make the world a better place by watching “Tapped”–which is now on both Hulu and Instant Watch Netflix–and learning more about what you can do to reduce your use of plastic.]