Hallelujah, there is good news! Pegging, rimming and finger stuff is going on around campus. This week I was able to sit down and talk with Madam Peggy (pseudonym used to maintain anonymity) about their experiences and opinions on pegging. Later I talked with Puget Sound students Cat and Ange about their experiences with mens’ butts.
When I first sat down with Madam Peggy, I instantly realized I hadn’t asked myself whether pegging actually applied to the LGBTQ+ community. In fact, everything I knew about pegging was from one episode of “Broad City” that featured a heterosexual couple.
“I think some sexual gendered words like [pegging] can be tossed around and used to describe many different sexual acts. Pegging can encompass a lot of different types of bodies; generally there is someone wearing a strap-on and someone being penetrated by a dildo or some kind of toy. You can get a dildo that looks like a cis guy’s penis or anything else you want, really,” Madam Peggy said.
So, despite what I thought from seeing “Broad City,” pegging isn’t reserved for any specific gender or sexuality. An anus is an anus as far as that dildo is concerned!
Madam Peggy soon told me how pegging helped them navigate their gender identity: “I identify as genderqueer. I was really intensely thinking about my gender and wondered if wearing a strap-on was something I would feel comfortable with in a gender sense, as opposed to a sexual sense. It is awesome to be able to explore those feelings. To anyone thinking about pegging, I would recommend putting on the strap-on in the mirror and giving it a wiggle.”
When it comes to pegging, there are no concrete rules. “My strap-on was actually the boxer briefs kind,” Madam Peggy said. Boxer brief dildos are proof that no matter what type of body you have, you can wear a strap-on. At the end of the day, pegging is just another way you can explore yourself and your partner’s body. Just have a good time!
For Cat and Ange, both of whom are cisgender women, putting a finger in a guy and giving a rim-job here and there isn’t a big deal. Ange and Cat reflected on the first time they gave a rim-job and put a finger up a man’s butt. I was surprised to learn this was something they’ve been asked to do by their male peers.
“These boys are letting down all their social barriers,” Ange said. Most cisgender men don’t advertise any desire to explore their prostate, so it’s encouraging to know that masculinity might function differently in the bedroom.
“He liked it because he never experienced it before. It is emotional intimacy; it’s not just about the physical,” Cat said.
Ange interjected, “But it’s obvious they are loving the physical part too. Rim jobs and finger stuff, they make men arch their backs. It’s very intimate, very vulnerable.”
According to Ange and Cat, the men they have done this with are masculine, straight men.
“It is so easy for a man to take a dominating role, and this is the time when those types of roles are challenged and any vulnerability is switched,” Cat said. Both women felt that difference in intimacy.
“When you are giving head, you get the feeling you’re somewhat removed from that person, but when you’re rimming, whatever boundary that was between you is broken,” Cat said. For these two women, playing with men’s butts enhances the intimate and pleasurable experience.
“I like to please,” Ange said.
I know I’m pleased to know there is pegging, rimming and finger stuff happening on campus. It’s clear that while these sexual activities are pleasurable, they also help people challenge gender roles and explore their own identity.