Interview Conducted By Pagliaccio
Here at the Combat Zone we hired a new content creator, Mr. Blake Lakes. Mr. Lakes is a quaintly uninformed, yet very enthusiastic student. When asked about the impetus for his work, he responded that this piece is inspired by the “24-hour news cycle.” Despite there being no reference to media in this piece, we will let it slide because he is new. Mr. Lakes noticeably mixes many different buzzwords in this piece, even from different decades! Asked about the connection between Janet Yellen and Haliburton, he responded that “they’re all in it together.” He mused for a moment and mumbled to himself, “Who is Janet Yellen again? I think they talk about her on NPR sometimes.” Further, Lakes left in a scribbled-out symbol for the NSA. Lakes defended this move, which he says “just shows how obscure they are trying to make their operations.” Then he went on a tirade about the dollar imperialism under Nixon, which led to the invasion of Iraq. Lakes is excited, not dampered, by the Trump presidency. “Look out, Trump, because this is gonna be hell for you. I will not back down, and all of your back-door dealings will be shown for all to see.” By “all,” of course, Lakes means the readers of the Combat Zone. That means all of you, Sara and Max!