Combat Zone

Puget’s Potty Press

An exclusive look at Puget Sound’s bathrooms by Combat Zone writer Mad Punz and consultant Darn Schultzbathroom_1

Over Thanksgiving break, while most people left campus and went home to eat their weight in turkey, I—accompanied by my consultant Darn Schultz (and occasionally Bathroom Guru Tim)—went around to every bathroom on campus to see for myself which ones were the best, and which ones didn’t quite make the flush.*

Why did we do this, you may ask. I think a better question is: is this the right bathroom to pop a squat and scroll through Instagram or is there too much foot traffic for that to be comfortable? Does this bathroom have free tampons or do they make you pay because who doesn’t carry around quarters and dimes around with them everywhere they go? We did this because this is information that needs to be out there; the campus deserves to know if they should use the closest facilities or if something much better is just down the hall or up an extra flight of stairs.

We, Mad Punz and Darn Schultz, are committed to making your potty participation at Puget Sound as painless and positive as possible.

What we looked for in overall bathroomness: cleanliness, sustainability, urinal spacing, wifi access, use of space, privacy, acoustics, toilet seat height and just the general vibe.

Semi-interesting trends/facts: 

Overall worst bathrooms: Library

Overall best bathrooms: Weyerhaeuser

Free tampons are offered in Jones only.

All of the gender-neutral bathrooms were mid-pack in terms of ranking.

Pink and yellow tile looks horrible if it’s more than five years old—this is exacerbated if they occur together.

People give you weird looks if you go into the bathroom of your opposite-presented gender, but don’t stop you.

People give you even weirder looks if three people walk into a gender neutral bathroom all at once.

Lower toilets will allow for a better pooping experience.

Apparently, urinal divides are very important to men.

First-floor Jones bathrooms have complementary Febreze.

The worst bathrooms on campus 

(in no particular order):

Men’s third floor Library

Why it’s bad: the door will hit you mid stream if you choose the urinal closet to the door

Women’s third floor Library

Why it’s bad: the acoustics are so bad there might as well not be a door to the bathroom

Men’s Sculpture studio

Why it’s bad: it doubles as a

storage closet

Men’s basement Harned

Why it’s bad: drain in the middle of the floor that we’re pretty sure people have mistaken for the intended urinal

Men’s basement Library

Why it’s bad: no wifi

The best bathrooms on campus 

(in no particular order):

Men’s second floor Jones

Why it’s good: very spacious… so much room for activities

Women’s first floor Howarth

Why it’s good: everything is

marble; you might as well be in a rich Southern family’s ktichen

Women’s first floor Jones

Why it’s good: free tampons and Febreeze

Men’s second floor Weyerhaeuser

Why it’s good: it has a shower with a view (plus cubbies if you don’t want to bring your backpack into the shower, which is understandable)

Women’s first floor Music Building

Why it’s good: really nice windows

*In order to continue to uphold The Trail’s pledge to be transparent I feel that I must disclose that we did not get a chance to view McIntyre’s bathrooms—but I hear they’re not great, so I’d steer clear if you can help it. Sorry, we tried but we got tired so we stopped for lunch and when we came back the doors were locked.